Seth-5yr’s career as a t-ball sensation continues. Not by my doing. If I had it my way, we’d be lazing around the last of the summer with nothing more exciting to do than cut toenails and clean closets.

Mike wanted to sign him up for a league we hadn’t tried before and I agreed, if he’d first look into the time/energy commitments. But…. yeah right. How it actually went: Mike didn’t look into the time commitments, signed up, mentioned he was increasing his travel schedule and wouldn’t really be around much, THEN we found out this league meant some Serious Time Commitment.

It’s okay, though. It’s for a short period and we’ll live and breathe t-ball for a few more weeks and then we’re done. Seth-5yr is playing first base, and doing a great job thanks to his ability to run at least twice as fast as anyone else and his total dedication to staying tuned into the game – a rare ability in this age group. When he’s not grabbing his crotch (and making me just DIE an uncomfortable, embarrassed mommy death in the stands) or spitting – because that’s so fun, too. He’s new to both of these authentically awful baseball habits, and I’d like them to stop. Suggestions welcome. He’s wearing a size bigger pants to his next game – that was my mom’s suggestion, given halfway through his last game as we watched all the grabbing and adjusting and geez, why can’t he just pick his nose like the other kids?

He might move to pitcher, because the current pitcher is struggling in this role.  So just now, we were outside and I asked him to explain the role of pitcher to me so I can gauge how much he understands and where he might need some direction in case he switches position.

I wish y’all could ask Seth-5yr to explain something. It’s often hysterically funny. First, he lowers his voice so it’s pretty deep and business-like. He dips his chin and puts a hand on a hip. He clenches his jaw as he thinks and his cute baby dimples show up.

“Well, Mom. The pisher needs to be yooking everywhere for where to get the outs. And I am very good at dat.”

“Yes. You really, really are.”

“And the pisher also has to get the ball back to the Pisher’s Ma’am FAST because dat is what kills the play. The pisher has to run fast fast fast and jump on the Pisher’s Ma’am and be real good at doing dat at the right time because that makes all the runners stop getting runs and more bases.”

Apparently, Seth-5yr is unfamiliar with the word ‘mound.’ The meaning changes significantly if you use the word “ma’am” instead. He had the important parts right, though, and he was so serious and deep voiced about it that I just hugged him and thanked him for the explanation.

Already, other coaches are inquiring as to his future availability and wanting to discuss his career trajectory and asking to be involved. I figure with all of that specialized attention, one of these guys will teach him the right vocabulary eventually and maybe I’ll just focus on getting him to quit spitting instead.

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