Monday, September 12th 2011
Little Miss Angry

Seth-5yr went through a loooong phase of loving Mr. Strong. The little red cartoon character flexing his muscles. He wanted to wear his Mr. Strong shirt every day. The other Mr. and Little Miss characters have various adjective and emotion names and are helpful in teaching small children about moods.

Seth-5yr might have outgrown this, but maybe I need the books or t-shirts.

I was with a friend last night, doing errands, and she said, “You’re angry.” It was a calm statement. An observation from an even tempered woman well familiar with the signs in other people.

I stopped the car and my mouth dropped open just a bit and I had to process this bizarrely enlightening statement. She was right. Despite all the Seriously Obvious Signs Including Killer Back Tension (and my mother telling me repeatedly I was angry but I apparently blocked her out because, well,  she is my mother), I hadn’t really figured that out.

It hadn’t made sense to me to be angry. You know how sometimes it’s obvious and justifiable and all of that? Not now, not for me. If anything, I should be sorry and upset and a little ball of repentant humility – but not angry. And I’m almost defiantly not any of that.

Big Clue That Feelings Are Mysteries In This House: the blog has lots of ‘should be’ statements regarding emotions. Because that’s so helpful and judge-y.

Mike came to bed last night and warily (oooh yes, warily) told me I looked nice.

“Good. Because I’ve just discovered I’m REALLY angry, but I still want to have sex and I don’t want you to get confused and read anything wrong into this decision.”

The man looked scared. Interested, but scared.

(I have no problem  separating sex from ongoing conflict, never have. Some things just shouldn’t be avoided ever.)

He came around to my side of the bed and kissed me, and then I really got annoyed. “I SAID DON’T READ ANYTHING INTO THAT! I SAID I WANTED TO HAVE SEX, NOT THAT I WANTED YOU TO KISS ME?! YOU ALREADY GOT CONFUSED.”

(I have big problems separating kissing from ongoing conflict. Some things are just unthinkable.)

Then he REALLY looked scared. And confused.

Which I thought was really funny, because women would have understood that, right? Right. That’s why I’m telling y’all. Even if I’m not making any sense at all here, in this house, I can still be fairly sure that a good portion of y’all will still get me.

Or tell me why I’m wrong in ways that make me think or laugh, and that’s always good, too.

 

 

~hm

5 Comments on “Little Miss Angry”

1
Geekwif
September 12th, 2011
10:51 am

Oh, I so get the angry thing! The Geek came up with an idea that will be a MAJOR change in our lives (at least in my mind, it’s pretty dang major!) and I got so freaked out about it that I actually had a hissy fit about it last night. Big time temper tantrum – grown up style, of course. I had to do the “I was wrong and I’ll try it and be reasonable and not go crazy and turn into the wicked witch of the West” thing, which I HATE to do, because I’m not entirely sure I’m wrong, but I do need to at least give his idea a try before automatically assuming he’s wrong.

And I just totally hijacked your blog. Sorry. But my point is, I understand being angry and saying things that seem reasonable to me even though I know, even as I say them, that they won’t sound that way to him. Sometimes things just build up to the point where it’s really hard to be calm about it. I don’t know about you, but for me, that usually means there’s something more going on than the thing I’m freaking out about. Which stinks, because I hate being all introspective, but sometimes that and a good talk with God is what it takes.
Geekwif recently posted..European Vacation – Bruges, Belgium

2
Headless Mom
September 12th, 2011
11:26 am

This made me laugh out loud! I totally get it, and something that you might get? What ever happened to the quickie?

:-D
Headless Mom recently posted..For Anna

3
Kelsey
September 12th, 2011
1:55 pm

GW
I am SOOOOO glad you wrote all that. (thank you for taking the time!) Now i’m VERY curious what it is that can get you all worked up like that, but don’t tell me. i have that whole long calm talk thing to have with God.

HM,
i’m so glad. because if my life is this crazy, it should at LEAST be entertaining to others. And…. oh yeah. an underrated gem, that one.

4
Jan
September 12th, 2011
6:15 pm

Sorry your life contains so much anger right now. Glad you shared in such a hilarious post!
Jan recently posted..Fires Contained–For Now

5
Jennifer Sullivan
September 13th, 2011
10:12 pm

No kissing while angry, no hugging while angry, no smiling at the other while angry and expect lots of ignoring to be going on. However, sex while angry is allowed as long as it’s done the way you want it and not him, and also no cuddling after. Also apolgies made by hubby may take 24 to 48 hours to sink in before he may be forgiven. I totally get that. Oh, and its okay to be angry at him even when he doesn’t know why or its not his fault, after all he did marry you and sometimes for better or worse means for worse so he just has to deal with it.

I was totally pissed at hubby because he ate fast food for lunch with his friends and then was going to a race thing with friends tonight and was going to eat with them eventhough he was going to be home during dinner. Yes, this was reason enough for me to stop talking with him. Yes he did decide to eat with us. Yes I may have overreacted, but seriously? He could spend some time with me when I’m hormonal. Hope you are done being angry soon, or maybe you should go to a kickboxing class to get out some of the extra agression?
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