Sunday, September 18th 2011
Seth-5yr, the Night Version

Seth-5yr comes into our bedroom at some hour in which we are all asleep. Or supposed to be. And a weird conversation ensues. A few times a week. At least.

I now present five examples from the previous month:

1) He’s crying. He says, “Caden-7yr called me a Steve!” I reach out and hold him. Tears fall on my arm.

“What’s a Steve?” I ask, wondering when Seth-5yr learned to pronounce the “S” sound at the beginning of words. And also, I am behind on the lingo used by the kids in the house, because I don’t know what Steve means anymore.

“A Steve. Someone who takes things. He is saying I went into his room and took something.”

At which point, I realize he means ‘thief’ but cannot say ‘thief’ and also…?  Seth-5yr is a TOTAL Steve. He is ALWAYS going into people’s rooms and taking stuff. But that won’t help me solve this insanity and get back to sleep so I don’t say so. Instead I just say, “give it BACK. and then go back to bed.”

2) Seth-5yr brings in a container of milk at a very early hour and says, “Here. Can you just smell this?” A request I find unpalatable at ANY hour of the day, and also pointless, since I’m a non-milk drinker and cannot really be trusted to accurately sniff anything anyway. But it wakes me right up to say, “NO, TAKE IT TO DAD’S SIDE OF THE BED.”  And then gag into my pillow at the very thought of rancid milk in the bedroom, awaiting a good sniffing.

3) “Why is there a pillow over here?” he asks. I wake up and see a pillow by the bedroom door. I have no answer for this. “I guess it fell.” He shakes his head. “It could not have FALLEN from the bed and ended up all the way over HERE.” He looks at us and sighs. “I guess it jumped,” he concludes in a very serious tone of voice, and leaves the room.

Turns out Mike threw the pillow at the door in order to try to close the door without having to get out of bed. And this didn’t wake me up. And that really doesn’t make any sense. But that explanation is still less weird than, ‘it jumped.’

4) “Here, Mom. I’m just opening the door because deh cat really wants to be with you. He has been mowing [rhymes with wow-ing] all night.”  And then the cat comes in and sits between my shoulderblades and continues to yell. Because now he can. Thank you, Seth-5yr. That’s not why that door was closed, or anything.

5) Seth-5yr comes and stands over me and announces, “CeCe’s mom doesn’t GET to sleep at night.” It’s  tone of voice that implies, ‘you don’t know how lucky you have it, lady, that I allow you to sleep as much as I DO even WITH all my cute interruptions.’

I do not point out that CeCe’s mother works nights and sleeps at other times and that I am actually NOT supposed to be working nights and am really supposed to be peacefully sleeping instead of being judged harshly into a guilty awake state thanks to the shortest boy in the house.


I have no idea how much sleep Seth-5yr actually gets. I suspect it’s far less than he should be getting.


6 Comments on “Seth-5yr, the Night Version”

September 18th, 2011
9:43 pm

Once, I too was awakened by little people with odd remarks. Now, I am awakened by our 4 mo old puppy, who thinks it is fun to bite me on the nose to let me know she needs to go out *again*.
Jan recently posted..Fires Contained–For Now

September 18th, 2011
9:52 pm

I have a brother who is a milk sniffer, and he continues that behavior to this day. You’re right, it’s pretty gross.

I was wondering about closed-door time. Because I know you won’t be defeated in the face of a challenge, even in the dark of night!

Priceless stories, Kelsey… and hugs to the shortest boy in the house. : )
Linda recently posted..Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption

Mother T
September 19th, 2011
6:15 am

At this point in my life, I absolutely cherish the nights I get to sleep straight through. NOT because I have a child/grandchild coming in to make random comments at odd hours, but because my bladder wakes me up at strange hours.

There was a time in our life when our youngest daughter would come into our room, shimmy under the bed on my side, and begin pulling on the springs. (We had one of the old-fashioned sets of metal springs.) The sound of the spring bouncing under my head on the bottom of the mattress would just about put anyone over the edge!

September 19th, 2011
2:37 pm

I love these stories of not sleeping and being woken up by little boys… because it makes me feel so much better about my own life! Once in a while I like to have a pity party and pretend I’m the only mother NOT sleeping around the world but that is so not true!

September 19th, 2011
8:30 pm

That’s hilarious. You have such interesting children. And their speech impediments are opposites? Do they ever interpret for one another? So funny.
My five year old’s speech impediment is ‘z’ sound instead of ‘j’. It’s not so bad except when your kindergarten teacher is quizzing you about the letter G and you call it a Z with complete certainty.

Your life really is movie making material. Maybe it’s just how you write it, but the whole scene is completely visual.

September 19th, 2011
11:34 pm

bites on the nose?! Oh wow. Duke just comes and stands next to the bed and stares at me longingly until I’m so weirded out I wake up and tell Mike to take him out. : )

I’m fascinated that you have a brother you describe as a milk sniffer. it has the sound of a 3rd grade glue eater. (did he do that, too?)

Mother T,
ha! why would she even think to DO that?! i always thought the undersides of beds were the creepiest places in the dark and I wouldn’t go near them!

if you want the occasional pity party, you go right ahead. i allow myself to have them, too, and find them helpful in small doses! : )

aw, thank you!! they are interesting children. so are yours, too, btw. I’ve read their interesting thoughts!

all our 4 kids had/have speech issues. and no matter what letter the kid’s name started with – THAT is the letter that usually caused them the most problems.

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