It wasn’t exactly the week I’d planned. Not bad, necessarily. Just different.
I thought I’d go to Florida by myself, learn to surf, paddleboard, read, write, and lie in the sun. And eat too much amazing sushi and seafood and come home needing to go to the gym and work it off.
There would be emerald water, hot sand, and sun.
I refused to waste any time on internet or turn on the television while there, so I really have no idea if it was a small hurricane or just a tropical depression that interfered with those careful, sunny plans of mine.
Whatever it was, its timing and mine were unfavorable, both closing in on a common destination with plans that were at odds with one another. A match up I lost, obviously, against the controlling forces of an ever-present storm. I’d look out the window of my condo and see the beach below. Two red flags indicating danger. Water closed. Look if you must, but don’t touch.
The water that was supposed to be green and calm and beautiful, was instead a muddied slate color- full of roaring, angry waves that would come ashore and spit out lifeless jellyfish all over the cold, white sand. The skies were varying shades of gray and poured varying amounts of rain.
I’d packed all wrong, of course. Duke had flopped on the floor while I stood in my closet, throwing items to pack out into the hall. He insisted on lying right in my line of fire, and so this was how he came to be photographed wearing a black bikini. The other things I threw his way were floaty, thin, small items intended for a beach vacation. They all came home, still folded. Smelling of damp and maybe a little of labrador.
On my second day I went shopping for jeans, sweaters, a waterproof purse, and a waterproof jacket. The other women had beaten me to all the waterproof jacket options, so I bought one in the little boys’ section and figured I’d give it to a boy when I got home.
I read. And wrote. And was constantly wet and cold, venturing out to the beach in my little boy jacket the second the rain slowed to a drizzle, or out to eat if hungry.
I don’t mind going places alone. (Obviously.) But it must be strange on some level to other people, because it became clear pretty quickly that it was going to be questioned. Surprising. It would never occur to me to strike up that particular conversation with anyone. The answer I eventually settled on was, “I’m here alone because I want to be alone.” Said in a friendly tone. Then watching, listening as that simple truth makes an impression. On whoever it was directed. On me.
I came home and the weather is practically cold, here, as well. I’m wrapped in a chenille blanket even now. Not sleeping or eating and in a state of general anxiety about life. Thinking back to that storm and wondering if it would have been better to change course. Realize I was showing up unprepared for a situation I could weather and survive – but instead choosing to go somewhere more pleasant to make the best of those precious few days. That might have been the way to go.
This is all terribly depressing. I know. I’ll be fine soon. I was going to attempt to elevate the mood with the photo of Duke in a bikini, but he nixed that idea. Something about not being okay with his beautiful furry dog body being exploited for comedic value when he was only trying to express displeasure that I was packing and leaving. Or something like that.
Also, a chocolate lab in a black bikini in a dim hall doesn’t really photograph well.
I love you.
11:14 am
So sorry your trip didn’t go as planned. But soooo glad to have you back. Love you!
Jan recently posted..Wildfires in Texas
12:17 pm
Dang. I would have liked to see those photos. The Geek doesn’t let me dress up our pets … ever. The bandana the groomer puts on the dog is okay, but that’s it.
I’m sorry your week away wasn’t what you expected. Funny though – the way you wrote this post sounds like you’re in “writing mode”. I hope you got some good reading and writing done despite the uncooperative weather.
Geekwif recently posted..European Vacation – Bruges, Belgium
1:57 pm
Jan,
thank you. Love you too. : )
GW,
very astute. i am in writing mode. too bad it’s all coming out so gripe-y and cynical! may need to change genres.
your pets probably really thank the Geek for this, you know. Mike wouldn’t have approved of the bikini on the dog either, but it wasn’t intentional. more of an accidental occurrence of animal cross dressing. i’m a terrible packer – this is a new low though, and duke just got in the way!
2:25 pm
Dear Kels
Here are two things that I have been meaning to tell you that I so admire about you–
1. I think that you compose the best titles in all of blogdom. Unfailingly, when I read your headline and then read your story, I hear your Granddaddy, Travis, the journalist and punster, chuckle in approval, and we all know how much he loved wit, puns and great storytelling. He would love, as I do, how you take us on so many unexpected journeys, especially the ones with his great grandsons, and Charlo and Duke.
Knowing you as I do, I think that I will save telling you the 2nd thing that I admire about you for another day because I probably have overwhelmed you by now by you telling this one!
Happy Birthday!
With love and Aloha
Auntie Fran
3:50 pm
Auntie Fran,
your timing is fantastic. i was on my way out the door to get kids for school so i fixed my makeup (all smudgy) and then read this on my phone and immediately burst into tears. definitely overwhelmed, as you predicted, but in a good way.
titles? I’m so surprised! i always feel the need to apologize for them, they’re so bad! (but this one was ok.)
excellent building of suspense there. very curious about the second thing!
love you!
4:56 pm
Hear, hear! Auntie Fran is right – your titles and writing and stories are awesome and I’m sure Granddaddy would approve.
I’m sorry you got so soggy. I’m glad you weathered it as well as you did. And I’m glad you’re back!
Hugs. And brownies.
L
1:09 am
I’m so sorry that you didn’t get the vacation in the sun you had wanted
You must have been wayyyy South because we didn’t get that much rain in SE GA – of course, that doesn’t help you any now does it….
I have to agree with you that I can’t imagine ever ever asking anyone why they were somewhere alone – maybe it’s just my southern good manners, I don’t know but somehow that seems rude. Although maybe it is just as rude that I would quietly feel sorry for them? Before kids, I could never imagine enjoying going somewhere alone – and, now – I look for any excuse to just have the house to myself – for just a few minutes…..
So, even though you didn’t get the sun and surf, I hope you did get the peace and quiet that every Mama secretly craves every now and then
Gidget recently posted..Smooth Running Days Require Planning
2:17 am
I’m sorry the break didn’t go exactly as planned… but I do hope you savored the peace and quiet anyway…and got some good writing done…and will have another chance for a sunny vacation another time. If you ever feel really brave and adventurous, we have the best beaches here. No kidding!
12:17 am
Very glad you were safe. Also glad you were able to fit into a boys sized waterproof jacket! Your description of the ocean and the storm made me feel like I was right there. Did you get to enjoy any amazing sushi?
Jennifer Sullivan recently posted..The best babyshower ever
4:50 pm
You’re the (wo)man! I would only have dreamed of going off by myself for a few days. You really did it! That’s pretty amazing. I’ll be fantasizing about my own escape now.