Sunday, November 13th 2011
Sunday: A High and A Low

Newsy Stuff:

Jenn is posting baby updates WITH PICTURES.

I’m meeting one of you Online Blogger Friends tomorrow. In person. At a Jason’s Deli. I’m excited because I really like this person. I might take an extra antianxiety pill though. Can I do that? Because I’m excited, but in an ‘I might throw up’ kinda way.

Geekwif is almost halfway through NaNoWriMo and she’s still finding time to blog. How she does this, I have no idea.


This morning I got to be in the church nursery. In all the time I’ve been subbing for various classes, they’ve never asked me to be in there before. Maybe they’ve seen me walk into walls. Or drop things. This is highly likely, so maybe they were WAY desperate when I was asked to fill in today.

I was incredibly excited. BABIES. Baaaaaaay Beeeees. I could hardly sleep last night. I dressed in non-drycleanable clothing that was absorbent enough to handle significant spit up issues. I cut my fingernails short. And i got there early because OH THE EXCITEMENT.

Yes, this is  my life, and it may SOUND pathetic but it is not. I am just easily thrilled. I see it as a positive, thankyouverymuch.

I arrived and got things ready. For a stampede of adorable diaper-butted babies. I was ready. I waited for 20 minutes and then a baby came FINALLY and I might have overwhelmed his parents with my enthusiasm for their decision to hand over their child to me, a total stranger with clumsiness issues.

Not that I told them that. In fact, I’m only telling Y’ALL this, but I’m really good at Falling While Holding An Infant. Once I fell down a flight of hotel stairs holding a sleeping Caden-baby and it was a pretty bad fall. The ball of my left foot was messed up for at least six months, but I had that whole ‘protect the sleeping baby’ instinct kick in and he never woke up or had his head bashed into the wall or anything.

Today, the baby’s mom asked me to get him to sleep. He was 4 1/2 months of gorgeous Old Man looking baby. You know that look? This baby owned that look. And he wore a yellow collared onesie with his denim overalls. I can’t resist the down-to-earth charm of the preppy/hint of redneck combination, and today was no different.

This is a little creepy of me, I admit, but I took a picture of his adorable, serious little face and sent it to my mother because I HAD to share the cuteness. I’d show y’all, too, but I can’t quite bring myself to put pics of other people’s adorable Old Man Babies on the internet, no matter how cute they are. I covered his darling blond fuzz head with a thousand kisses in the shade of Estee Lauder’s Maplesugar. I just COULD NOT HELP IT. You wouldn’t have been able to, either. I wiped them off (or rubbed them in, rather) once he fell asleep.

Then he had an ethereal, pink glow to him. Oops.

There was no baby stampede. But that’s all right. I had one gorgeous little guy to swaddle and snuggle and walk around the room with until he fell asleep and then he cooed on my chest until my replacements for the next hour arrived.

He didn’t spit up. He didn’t cry. I didn’t want to hand him over and leave.

After church I made a large-ish communication mistake. It involved a well intentioned, but somewhat… unflattering analogy. Analogies are not my strong suit. Y’all know that. But they don’t usually get people seriously angry with me, they just usually come out wrong and don’t make any sense.

Today: Notable exception.

I’ve been working on the kids’ rooms. I’ve painted two bedrooms and just have Ethan-11yr’s left. He has this railing stuff that goes around his room and Ethan-11yr and I had talked a few days ago and agreed that I’d take it all off and retexture underneath, paint, and not put it back on.

Enter: Mike.

Mike has not been involved in these projects, because he’s a busy guy and I haven’t asked for or needed his help and he’s been out of town a lot and when I get my blue collar out… I generally like to do that when he’s gone. I can crank up the Johnny Cash, and Mike doesn’t have to try to resist telling me how to do everything better or different. Even though he knows these things.

Mike talked to Ethan-11yr about the plan and made some changes. And then told me about them.

I’ve already planned. Bought supplies based on these plans. And am ready to get to work as soon as everyone is out of the house on Monday. And then the plans changed. I was irritated. I tried to explain. Without the use of an unflattering analogy. But I just couldn’t get through. He didn’t seem to get it.

Enter: the Analogy That Should Never Be Made

 I’m the job foreman and Ethan-11yr is the client. And you, Mike, are the volunteer day laborer who came in to help (without being asked) and you went over my head directly to the client and made changes. Even though I’m the job foreman and all communication and changes with clients are my responsibility. 

Enter: Foot in Mouth

Are you wincing? Was that painful even to read? Oops. Mike doesn’t get ‘eyes flashing, livid’ very often. Um. Calling him an unruly volunteer day laborer in his own home will accomplish that, REAL EASILY though.

Have since apologized. Profusely.

After a few hours of thinking, “what is the big deal? i kinda think that made my point REAL well.” (And it did. And that was part of the problem.)

But I suppose the importance of ‘not insulting the husband’ was totally overlooked, and that is probably the bigger deal here. Not that I meant it in an insulting way. Oh, nevermind. It’s probably time I just stop talking and writing before I make things worse.

Amazing Race is on soon. Someone on there will say something worse than I ever could. Should be good.



8 Comments on “Sunday: A High and A Low”

November 14th, 2011
2:04 pm

Old man babies are so cute. And an old man baby in overalls – I can only imagine how adorable he must have been.

(And thanks for the plug!)
Geekwif recently posted..NaNoWriMo Widget

November 14th, 2011
5:34 pm

I would have loved to have seen his mama notice the pink glow on his head. He sounds adorable. The one time I got to be in the nursery, I was so excited. But then they needed me more with the toddlers since the leaders there couldn’t quite figure out how to do anything. Toddlers are cute and fun, but when you’re hoping for swaddling and cuddling time, they just don’t fit the bill.

As for the husband thing…..I can totally relate! I don’t know how many times my husband has decided to reorganize my pantry or buy food “for storage” without consulting me first. I send him to the grocery for milk and apples and he comes back with 12 cans of red kidney beans, a bag of quinoa, and a box of garam masala to go alongside the other three boxes already on the shelf. Of course, when I try to put it all away, I have to relearn where everything in the pantry is located because I’m suddenly seeing canned carrots (who buys those?!) where the beans used to be. So I tried to explain that just how I leave his tools alone and don’t try to buy him any or use them without asking, the kitchen is kind of like my workshop and the pantry is kind of like my toolbox. He gets it for about five minutes even though he’s rather seething at what feels like disrespect and bossiness to him, but then ends up putting my spatulas in the drawer instead of the crock and the cookie sheets in the oven drawer instead of the cabinet, and then he get irritated at me for not appreciating his manly help. I think they call this the “crazy cycle” in marriage. I hear it gets better though. =)

November 14th, 2011
7:57 pm

I think this is just the nature of marriage, sharing space even when you would rather not. Mike is probably more sensitive about this issue since he is gone so much, and misses out on all the stuff you are living through. I don’t really think it gets better; we have just learned to accept and adjust.
Jan recently posted..What a difference three years makes

November 14th, 2011
9:24 pm

oh my I am so glad to know another who confessess. I have a tendancy to ramble a bit into” What if “scenarios like
well you took out 30 extra dollars today at the atm. Exactly where are you going? are you stocking money away and going to leave me with all these kids?’
only to have Mr. Rodgers respond” Yeah right 30 dollars will get me to the Islands on a private jet – woo hoo!” I owe the kid down the street remember?

just a small example – I apologize too. we all have our specialties- bad analogies, overreations whatever!!!

Mother T
November 15th, 2011
6:51 am

Oh, Kelsey, as I read your post, I just wanted to reach through the computer and give you a big hug! If I even tried to write about the many times I have stepped on my hubby’s fragile ego, my computer would blow up. About all you can do is apologize and try to think before you open your mouth. I’m not always successful. :-(
Mother T recently posted..Makes Me Think

November 15th, 2011
4:36 pm


he was DARLING.


It gets better? I have not heard this. But I will enlighten you about the canned carrots. WE buy them. Gross, RIGHT?! Caden loves them. no one else will touch them. HA!


a HA! It doesn’t get better!!


this had me laughing out loud… the $30 bargain getaway to the Islands…?! Awesome.

Mother T,

THANK YOU! I would so take that hug. My mother often says the male ego is as fragile as spun glass. She says those last words with great care to demonstrate the fragility. And yet I still forget.

Headless Mom
November 16th, 2011
1:59 pm

I think that was a perfectly acceptable analogy and may use it myself in the future. I know he was just trying to help but sheesh! Ask the Project Manager first! ;-)
Headless Mom recently posted..Tough Day

Jennifer Sullivan
November 18th, 2011
12:58 pm

Volunteer day laborer?! That’s funny. I got mad at hubby a few days ago and said something about him not listening and a babysitter at least acts like they are listening to me. That did NOT go over well. At. All. Oops. Sometimes these things just happen. I did apologize, but not until the next day because when I first said it I felt totally justified. The next day I just felt mean.
Jennifer Sullivan recently posted..More pics to come…. We are doing well

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