Today I’m home with Seth-6yr. For some reason, by the time our kids say, “you know… my ear hurts just a tiny bit” they are actually already in need of an emergency room because something is about to burst and they just didn’t feel it before. If a kid even TOUCHES an ear, mike and I start making medical plans because a doctor will invariably look and say, “THAT IS THE WORST EAR INFECTION I HAVE EVER SEEN. WHY IS THIS KID NOT FALLING DOWN SCREAMING IN PAIN?”
We’ve heard it a lot. With all of them. I guess they just have incredibly high pain tolerance in their ear parts. Or no nerve endings. I don’t know. We’re venturing into anatomy issues there, and my extreme ignorance is showing. All I know is that seth-6yr was FINE yesterday and he said… “huh. my ear...” and i told Mike, and then Mike had him at a doctor within two hours and it was BAD and then we were all up all night and it’s a pattern we’ve gone through lots of times around here.
So i made Seth-6yr couscous for lunch and he requested it to be served alongside pistachios and sesame sticks. I had sushi for breakfast with a side of potato chips, so I didn’t object to his request. Quiet day.
Yesterday afternoon I hunted for a bed. I wanted something smaller than what we currently have, and girly. Really, i wanted an old wooden bed with pretty curvy lines that I could get for cheap and then strip and paint how I want. Not that I know how to do that. Yet. But I’ll learn.
My first stop was at a consignment store my mom suggested. She’d gotten a great table there a couple years ago. I was on the lookout for anything chippendale or french provincial looking. And in a back room, on a counter, I saw something as I was walking out the door. Not what I was looking for, but eye-catching in any case. It looked like a cat. Asleep in a basket. I went back to get a closer look and screamed. It was a totally involuntary, unintentional scream – I generally don’t like to make a scene.
It was definitely a cat. In a basket. A TAXIDERMIED CAT IN A BASKET.
Not asleep, as I first thought, but more like DEAD and STUFFED, which is WAY different in my opinion. I made myself get closer and I held out my phone over it so that i could take a picture. Sometimes I do that just because I know that later I’ll tell my mom and she’ll say, “did you take a picture?” So I took a picture. And i was glad i have REALLY long arms because i didn’t want to get any closer to the dead cat than I had to. When I looked at my picture, I noticed that the tag read “not for sale.”
I suppose they had to put that there, because they were tired of the stampede of consignment shoppers who were constantly hauling the dead cat to the cashier station only to be told that no, I’m so sorry, but Fluffy is not for sale. I”m sure there was a REAL GREAT NEED for that and all, and only now that the tag reads ‘not for sale’ can the poor cat rest in peace.
Except for all the screaming women.
ICK. I got out of there.
I found a 100 yr old bed in need of new paint at an antique store for a good price, took a picture, bought it, and was glad that part of the project was over without hours of browsing. I hate hours of browsing.
Last night, Mom emailed me an eBay listing for a bed which fit my description. Of the BED. And on the bed was a GIANT TAXIDERMIED COW/MOOSE/SHEEP/GOAT/ I HAVE NO IDEA, AND GO AHEAD AND CLICK AND THEN YOU TELL ME WHAT IT IS/ HEAD.
Why didn’t they think that might put off a few prospective bidders? you know?
“Well, do you think we should remove the GIANT DEAD ANIMAL before we take the picture of the pretty bed?”
“Nah! Why? It shows ‘scale.’ Like when you put a penny in a picture of earrings so that they buyer knows how big they are. That’s what this blank-eyed dead animal is doing. No one minds the penny. No one would mind the lifeless livestock either.”
I mean, is that how it went? Or did NO ONE even consider raising the question of moving the head off the bed? As far as taxidermied animals go…. I’m not as bothered as I’m letting on. Sort of. I mean, if there’s a deer or a pheasant on a wall, FINE. It’s Texas. Whatever. I won’t look and wonder about its dead relatives who missed him or her and wistfully looked around the great outdoors forever in search of their lost loved one but it’ll take effort and it’s not a big deal. I’m really okay with it.
BUT. If there’s a giant dead animal with a weird two-tone effect in its fur lounging on a bed I may be interested in (and I’m not. mine was waaay cheap and didn’t come with dead stuff), or if there’s a dead CAT hanging around having to pretend to sleep in a basket to disguise its own deadness for all eternity… then I suddenly mind. Those two things are just not okay with me.
Because I’m SURE we all needed to clarify our preferences on taxidermy today. Come on, admit it. It was on your to-do list also.
And now i need to figure out the next part of this idea. If you know anything about refinishing furniture, by all means, please enlighten me!
* those ebay links won’t last long. act now if you want in on this bargain.
** I asked Seth-6yr. He says it’s a goat. I pointed out that it has antlers (you have to enlarge it to see) and asked if it maybe it were a deer. But he said no. And then he said that no one would want to buy a bed with goat hairs. EXACTLY.
3:11 pm
A lady I know had her dog freeze dried so that she could keep him forever. That dog has created MORE conversations and screams than I could possibly tell you about. He has also been featured (verbally) in several sermons because she used to host ministerial students frequently.
I don’t mind dead animals, just want them buried quickly and left there!
Mother T recently posted..Ground Hog Day 2012
3:22 pm
Mother T
WHAT?! Who do you call when you ‘want to have your dog freeze dried….?’ And… what an interesting woman. I don’t even want to know what a freeze dried dog looks like. Do you have to keep him… cold?
(i made pasta and freezerburned shrimp the other night. Oddly, the kids loved it.)
3:41 pm
Ethan-11yr and caden-7yr say it’s an elk. seth-6yr maintains that it is a goat. with goat hairs.
4:43 pm
I asked a question on the eBay auction to see if the seller would provide some information about the head. I’ll let you know if we get a response.
Also, perhaps they didn’t move the head because it is ENORMOUS and I know from my own personal experienc with old taxidermied stuff, perhaps WICKED HEAVY. If the options were a) take a slightly weird photo of the bedroom suite while the big head lounges on the bed or b) get crushed under big head trying to move it out of the for-sale photo, I would also opt for a.
I’ve stripped and painted furniture. Call and let’s talk! Also, Holy PawPaw may have some good pointers on this subject. I’m excited to see your new bed!
9:14 pm
I refinished the bedroom set my grandmother had as a child that I used. It had been painted white and though I begged my folks for years to let me get it redone, they never wanted to let me try. So when I was old enough to drive and they were out of town, I borrowed their full sized van and took the set to a small business that was able to dip it and strip it for me. I had already spent hours using a special paint remover, scraping and sanding on the flat part to know that there was no way on God’s green earth that I wanted to tackle the Jenny Lind type bed frame. I think it cost $100 for them to strip it. I picked it back up, spent several hours sanding (a power sander is now my favorite tool), and then got it prepped to stain (meaning, I used a damp cloth to get all the bits of dust off and got it as clean as possible).
I used a regular stain in a color I liked, sanding with a fine grade of paper between coats and making sure the dust was off before putting the next one on. Then I polyurethaned the heck out of it to seal it. It’s not perfect, but it still looks pretty darn good.
The only thing you might want to know is what type of wood yours is made from. The stripper guy (I just had to type it like that) told me that because mine was made out of poplar, it might crack a bit. I have no idea why, but do notice that it is a bit “dried out” in a couple places from temperature changes. And I wonder if having it dipped didn’t speed that along. Granted, I’m talking about furniture that was antique when my grandmother had it, so it’s no surprise that is is showing signs of wear in a couple of places.
My only other experience with refinishing something was when I taught in a one room schoolhouse that first had to be built in Tennessee. (long story) My boss found an old oak desk for $5 that needed spruced up. The stain wasn’t too terribly dark and it had never been painted, plus the angles were mostly straight with no crazy carved detail. So I just power sanded that baby until it was naked enough to be able to absorb a new stain. I miss that desk.
Hope this helps. If not technically, at least it proves that a girlie girl can refinish furniture with a bit of determination and time. I’m not sure if I’m more proud of the whole refinishing accomplishment or that I drove a full-sized van in a large town without wrecking it.
9:17 pm
there is actually a show on cable about a taxidermy guy who freeze-dries pets. Yuck. Too creepy. No matter how much I love a pet, I don’t want its dead corpse sitting around looking at me through its glass eyes.
Wick has stripped and refinished a lot of furniture, so he could probably give you some tips. I just watch in awe when he performs these furniture miracles.
Jan recently posted..Once Upon a Time
12:17 am
Darling that is a moose
It’s easier to recognize them when they are more common in your backyard (I live in MA)
7:43 am
I agree with Ethan-11yr and caden-7yr – looks like an elk. A big, dead, creepy elk. Ewww. And I would never, ever, EVER stuff my cat. Something about that is like stuffing grandpa and displaying him on the couch. Big giant heeby jeebies.
As for refinishing furniture, I’ve done a couple of pieces, and am working on a table for my craft room right now, but I just kind of wing it. I think it’s a little easier if you are painting than if you are staining since you can paint over a little stain if you don’t get every bit off, whereas with staining you really have to get it all.
Basically, I just sand with the grain, starting with a medium grit paper and moving to a smaller grit paper until the varnish is off and it’s rough enough to hold paint. Once it’s rough enough (and dust free), the painting part is pretty easy. If you use a brush, try to get one with really soft bristles because some brushes will leave definite brush marks in the paint once it dries.
I used spray paint on a dresser I did once and for a nice smooth look that worked well – other than the messy factor. (Cover EVERYTHING with plastic. That spray flies much farther than you might think.) I’m planning to use a brush on the table I’m working on since I’m going for a shabby chic look and will be “distressing” it anyway.
But I really don’t know what I’m talking about. Try going to YouTube.com and typing in “refinishing furniture” and I’ll bet you get a gazillion helpful video tutorials.
Geekwif recently posted..Sherry Burgers
12:46 pm
I have a noticed a disturbing trend in home decor that involves accessories made of bone. There are frames, boxes and bowls made of bone. The retailers don’t specify what kind of bone and how it is gathered and processed. I hope it is not an offshoot of the taxidermied animals but whatever, I prefer mine without the bones.
10:44 pm
Post a before picture of the bed then I can tell you what I think you should do with it. I’m just full of opinions today.
Jennifer Sullivan recently posted..Your questions answered
11:26 pm
Elk would be correct
Two-tone neck gives it away. Antlers are too “pointy” and narrow to be a moose.
4:55 pm
Forgive me – but I just want to know where it was you saw the stuffed cat – so that I don’t wander into that particular antique store without being forewarned.
(Or tell my nutty friend about it and she’ll want to know where it is so she can go see it on purpose. Because yes – I have friends like that. :-\)