Tuesday, March 6th 2012
Boys, Testicles and The Biblical Discussion Thereof

Friday night Mysti and I whooped it up for FOUR hours. We hadn’t ever met before. But we got together over tacos and beverages and laughed until we lost track of four hours of an evening. My stomach ached from the laughing, but in a really good way.

I was reminded of that today. On the way home from school. When the boys were being completely ridiculous and I wondered what Mysti would say, since she has boys, too.

Caden-8yr was telling me how a little girl in his class had kicked him in the “no-no’s.”  I immediately asked him what he’d done to her or if he had touched her in any way. Caden-8yr LOVES girls. But he hadn’t. So THEN I told him that of course that wasn’t acceptable. We discussed the entire event over and over until the whole picture became clear and I was glad to hear how the teacher resolved it.

It was a good time to remind the boys to keep their hands OFF girls because lots of fathers will teach their daughters to kick any boy who touches them. (It’s West Texas. YES, that’s common here.) They need to hear this.  Ethan-11yr asked if PawPaw had taught me that.

“No. I don’t think so. Not ALL dads tell their daughters that. But a lot do, so keep your hands to yourself. It’s an important way to be respectful, whether you’re going to get kicked or not.”

Ethan-11yr looked completely panicked. “So. Not ALL dads say that?”

“Right. Are you relieved?”

“YES.”

Poor baby. Looked like he’d pass out over this news. I had no idea he didn’t know this, or that he’d be so affected. But he was.

Once that was covered,  I moved onto the vocabulary. That’s what was really bothering me. “No-no’s?” UH……… NO.

The negativity of it annoyed me. So of course I went a little overboard with the Scripture. What it means to be “fearfully and wonderfully made” was discussed and analyzed.  What it means to be made in His image, as well. And how obviously there is nothing wrong with any body part designed by God and it shouldn’t be called something like a “no-no.”

Caden-8yr corrected me on this.

No-no‘S. Because plurality is important to boys when discussing their testicles, i suppose.

So I suggested the use of the word “testicles” instead.

Caden-8yr was appalled. “I AM NOT SAYING TESTICLES!? MOTHER!”

“Okay. But nothing negative, please.”

And I waited.

“So… today I got kicked in my chicken tenders.”

OH.

I suppose the possible negativity of that phrase hinges upon your view of chicken tenders. Or opinions about size. I don’t know. It wouldn’t be discussed, because Ethan-11yr quickly amended it to simply ‘tenders’ and Caden-8yr agreed.

There was much discussing in which they tried out their new word.  Tenders this and tenders that and on and on and on about the tenders.

Then Caden-8yr remembered the time he’d run up to me from behind and I’d kicked him across the kitchen (because I thought he was an intruder) and exactly how that had felt. Then concluding that if there ever were a bad guy in the house, he should probably watch out for his tenders.

Seth-6yr had remained completely silent for all of this. He’d had a hard day, although no one had kicked him.

And then when everyone was finally through discussing scripture and testicles, he simply said, “I do not want chicken for dinner.”

I think that’s reasonable.

~hm

9 Comments on “Boys, Testicles and The Biblical Discussion Thereof”

1
J-mom
March 6th, 2012
5:57 pm

I love those earnest boy conversations – especially the ones that conclude with an agreement on acceptable terminology. So why are they called chicken “tenders” anyway?

2
Kelsey
March 6th, 2012
5:58 pm

Ew!

No idea.

3
Sara
March 6th, 2012
6:27 pm

I love the conversations you have with your boys!

4
Jan
March 6th, 2012
8:02 pm

J-mom, because they are tender, of course. ;)
Gotta love those boys, and how they work things out with their mama.
Jan recently posted..Cruise Control

5
Geekwif
March 7th, 2012
6:44 am

I completely agree with Seth-6yr. I would not want chicken after that conversation either. :)
Geekwif recently posted..Three Inches Of Snow – And I’m Okay With That

6
Mother T
March 7th, 2012
9:48 am

I laughed until I had to run for the bathroom! My hubby doubled-over laughing!

I think you handled the conversation well, although I’m thinking I agree with Seth, that I wouldn’t want chicken for dinner after that talk. My grandsons call them “the boys”. (10 yr old’s reasoning: Mom has “the girls”, so I have “the boys”.)
Mother T recently posted..Meet #10

7
LaLa
March 7th, 2012
11:49 am

Would it really mess with their heads if I told them that once I had a roommate named NoNo? (I really did. That was her name!)

8
Sarah
March 7th, 2012
12:45 pm

Please thank your boys for me. I just spit my coffee all over.
Sarah recently posted..Wednesday Random Leap Year Edition

9
Mysti
March 7th, 2012
1:01 pm

Oh my. I *literally* laughed out loud at my desk reading about the chicken tenders. Then again when Seth didn’t want chicken for dinner. He may not want chicken ever again.
In my house they are referred to as “latiscibles” – that’s how it sounds anyway, and no, no idea where it came from – that’s how my mom referred to them as I was growing up with my brother, therefore that’s what came out of my mouth when not using anatomically correct terms (my first choice, but oddly enough, like your boys, mine had no interest in using those terms.) Just wait until they’re teenagers and try to say the word that refers to round things you throw. I put a stop to THAT immediately. No balls in my house unless you’re talking foot, basket or base!

(And ya’ll. If you get a chance to meet Kelsey in person for tacos – DO IT!. So. Much. Fun. And laughing. Oh the laughing was out of control)

Leave a comment

CommentLuv badge