Wednesday, March 21st 2012
Gimme A Gun. Im in That Kind of Mood.

it’s raining. it’s cold and gray and so am i. (gray lululemon  hoodie. but my hair is sure to follow soon, though. i can just tell. it’s one of those weeks.)

I never answer the phone. I’ve had to get better about this because sometimes it’s a craigslist seller saying, “yes – come get my nasty dresser with the white spider egg sacks underneath that will make you SCREAM and reach for Lysol and it’s all $10 right now if you still want it.”

And I am interested in those calls. So that’s how I happened to answer the phone a few weeks back when the pastor called. If I’d known who it was, I most certainly would not have answered. NO QUESTION. There’s just NO way that woulda happened.  I would have gotten extremely social anxiety-ish and listened to the phone ring while imagining all the terrible things he was going to say, but in a nice quiet voice that sounded all holy somehow and then i’d never go to church again because he was probably calling to ask me that I not return anyway. And maybe if I did,  I could also please mark myself with a large, scarlet ‘D’?

that’s not how it went. except the nice quiet voice part. he wanted to know what happened with Mike and I. i told him. without getting into any details, there were broad brushstrokes covered. and then? he was nice. helpful. completely supportive. kind.  the judgment or the plea to do something more or different or anything of the sort… didn’t come.

there’s nothing about him or that church that would make me expect anything less than kindness. it’s just that i don’t really expect that of people, and i forget the low altitude of my own expectations.

I won’t be there this week though. Letter D, or not. Last night I put the kids to bed and was watching Top Shot and my dad texted and said he’d teach me to shoot this weekend. I was SO excited. SHOOT STUFF?! OH YES PLEASE. He said something about making really big targets (and I didn’t realize what he was saying until later when i was too excited to go to sleep) and setting up our own Top Shot stuff and I am SO looking forward to this. Mike has the kids, so it’ll just be me. (my 3 babies are not going to be near guns. but hey, i am FINALLY old enough to hold one, right?!)  LET ME SHOOT SOME THINGS. I’m SO ready.

When I was 15 and my dad was teaching me to drive, he was afraid. He’s not afraid of the large poisonous snakes all over his land. Or the other stuff there that would scare me, like coyotes and skunks in the HOUSE sometimes. But he was definitely afraid of my teenage self behind a wheel and there’s no other way to put it. Maybe he knew how bad my depth perception is. Or that I tend to break everything I touch. Or that I tend to get a little reckless. Or the combination of those.

But he would get a newspaper and hold it up so that it took up the entire front passenger area and he would either read it or pretend to read it. he’d tell me where to go, where to park, what to work on, but he would NOT LOOK.  His voice was calm and quiet and he’d laugh nervously when the car would jerk, but he would NOT look.

So! This should be interesting, right?! GUNS! With Daddy!

 

I jammed my left elbow yesterday. I hope it’s okay before the weekend. It was a stupid injury. (Most of mine are.)

I fell off the MANTEL.

YES. That kind of mantel. It’s a normal mantel-y thing. Five feet off the ground. In the living room. Over the fireplace. I was sort of perched up there because there’s a gigantic clock that needed a new battery and it’s extremely difficult to get on and off the wall and it’s easier to just get right on the mantel and reach behind it.

And that’s where I was when Duke woke up from his nap on the living room floor and saw me up there and freaked out. He only barks about 3 times a year. Whenever he does bark, we all stand around and discuss how unusual and interesting that was, like it was a full solar eclipse or something.

And when Duke barks, it’s a Big Dog Bark. When he’s freaked out because he just woke up and saw a person halfway up his living room wall, he lets out a REALLY scary Big Dog Bark.  I jumped and screamed and fell off and smashed into the floor because i was wondering if he was going to recognize me before I hit the carpet – or not – and what would happen if THAT were the case… and so I wasn’t really focused on my landing technique.  Jammed elbow.

(He recognized me. He licked my face.)

Next time I’ll make sure the dog is awake when the clock battery needs to be changed.

Now I know.

I hope I’m good to shoot, and paint furniture with my stepmom and drive across Texas and back! There’s stuff to DO.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

~hm

8 Comments on “Gimme A Gun. Im in That Kind of Mood.”

1
Mysti
March 21st, 2012
12:26 pm

Ooo – shooting. I love shooting. I’m a Glock 9 mm girl myself – I highly recommend them for handgun shooting. It’s the one I shot best with when I took the concealed handgun course (taught *my* pastor no less – I love small towns) despite my freakishly small hands.

A mantle? Girl – I worry about you.

2
Jan
March 21st, 2012
12:44 pm

My pet gun was a Lady Smith and Wesson revolver. Just the right size for my small hand. It got stolen when someone broke into our house, and I still miss it. Have a great time shooting! So glad the call from the pastor went so well. Love you! Be careful driving across Texas.
Jan recently posted..Cruise Control

3
Geekwif
March 21st, 2012
1:59 pm

I assumed that you had been shooting before because of your description of Lark’s experience in your book. I think you’re going to love it. The Geek and I go to the range now and then. I don’t have a lot of experience, but I do enjoy it when I go with him.

Are you going to be shooting a handgun or a rifle? Do you know? We shoot handguns at the range, and I usually rent a Smith and Wesson revolver. I like how much easier it is to load a revolver. Loading a magazine is just too hard on my weak fingers and it takes me forever. (Plus it will ruin your nails real fast!) Loading a revolver is quick and easy.

Whatever you shoot, I hope you have a great time!

(BTW, we just watched the entire first two seasons of Top Shot on Netflix in about 3 days and loved it! Can’t wait until the next season is available.)

Jan, I’m curious: how is the recoil on the Lady Smith? I haven’t tried one that small because I was told it would have too much kick. I may try the shorter barrel next time we go though. The longer ones are usually a little on the big side for my hands which makes it difficult to squeeze the trigger, especially as my hands start to get tired.
Geekwif recently posted..Three Inches Of Snow – And I’m Okay With That

4
crickl's nest
March 21st, 2012
2:12 pm

So glad to hear you have a pastor like that! Things are changing in the church….slowly. We can’t shun people just when they need us most anymore. God bless you and yes, take the Lysol with you please.

Christie
crickl’s nest recently posted..Spring in Phoenix

5
Mother T
March 22nd, 2012
6:46 am

I love to shoot, but my hubby is not happy with guns in the house, so I don’t get to do any shooting anymore. (He figures we have a mean dog and Jesus, so we don’t need guns.)

The next time that clock needs batteries changed, not only make sure the dog is awake, please use a ladder rather than balancing on the mantel itself. You could have broken that elbow rather than just jamming it and broken elbows NEVER heal quickly!

I really wish you would post some pics of your refinishing projects. I love to see other people’s creativity.
Mother T recently posted..The Weekend

6
Jan
March 22nd, 2012
4:21 pm

Geekwif, I didn’t have a problem with the Lady Smith recoil. I had a couploe of quick-loads, and it was so much easier on my hands than trying to load a magazine. It was a .38, but a bigger caliber gun is just too hard for me to handle–I hate that stretch cut I get in the web between thumb and forefinger when I try to shoot a bigger gun, and I also feel I have less control since it is such a stretch to reach the trigger. Let me know what you think about the Lady Smith after you have a chance to try it.
MotherT, you can often rent a gun at a shooting range, if you don’t want to own one.
Jan recently posted..Cruise Control

7
Jennifer Sullivan
March 22nd, 2012
9:17 pm

Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition!!! Please. Pass it now. I could so blow holes in something right now. Especially big targets. Big. Fat. targets.

8
Michael
March 25th, 2012
6:49 pm

I really liked your post! I’ll be pinning it on my pinterest!
Michael recently posted..I hear what you’re saying, I do.

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