Yesterday I was beyond thrilled with the success of the Fixing of the Mower. THRILLED. So thrilled I had to tell you. Immediately. And if you didn’t pick up on the smugness, well, IT WAS THERE.
And then it wasn’t.
Because I did something so breathtakingly dumb that I singlehandedly ruined the functionality of electricity for the whole house as soon as it got dark. Because that’s some good timing.
I called Daddy. He’s an electrical engineer. And, more importantly, he’s Daddy. The ONLY man I’m interested in calling under those circumstances. He laughs at me, but never in a mean way, and he always has advice. But he lives kinda far away.
My mom and I are on the short side. We stood on a little vanity stool to get added height to try to add leverage to our attempts to shove the master circuit switch over. And that didn’t work.
I called an electrician.
Then I called a friend.
She said her husband would come over and I was all, “NOOooOOOO! NO HUSBANDS. I FIXED A MOWER AND AM STILL LIKING THE EGO BOOST OF NO HUSBANDS NEEDED FOR ANYTHING, NOOOooOOOOO!”
Her husband showed up ANYWAY and switched the circuit on. He’s like, 6 foot 5 or something ridiculous like that and didn’t need to stand on my little vanity stool. I tried to be grateful and humble and polite. And I think I probably was. But truthfully? I was so annoyed. Sometimes I REALLY hate being short and little. And it’s not like he was able to fix that problem because he was somebody’s husband. Or because he’s a MAN. It’s because God made him to be really on the large side. That’s what I was telling myself. As i felt the sharp sting of an ego disintegrating around me. If God had made ME 6 foot 5 inches tall then I woulda flipped my OWN CIRCUIT THINGY.
Then the electrician showed up, even though I told him not to because by then everything was okay, and we stood in the driveway and talked about mud and trucks. He likes to do that. I forgot that. I tried to be nice, and I think I probably was, but really I was just still annoyed.
I went to bed angry about the 5 foot 4 inches of SOLID PUNY that cannot flip a stupid master circuit. NOT happy about the mower. FURIOUS about the inadequate size issue.
I’d love to tell you I got over it and regained a peaceful acceptance of my strengths and limitations and had a lovely heart to heart with the Creator about it all and then had a peaceful dream and a lovely night’s rest.
But that didn’t happen, I’m still mad and short and too little and not accepting of ANYTHING and so I can’t.
I’m going to go mow the backyard. And if I break something today (AND COME ON, BUT I PROBABLY WILL BREAK SOMETHING TODAY) then I really pray it’s in the category of things I am big enough to fix.
Because the other category crushes me.