Monday, April 30th 2012
The Secret of Long Life, by Seth-6yr

My life is rather…. crazy at the moment. It’s so crazy I cannot even really blog.

There was a moment when a law enforcement official pulled his SUV up to the house and there were several POSSIBLE explanations for his presence that went through my head . I don’t EVER want that to be the case. Please, let me be more boring than that.

The kids and I are sleep deprived from severe weather, tornado type stuff. There is minor damage to home and truck. i can’t even care yet. WAY down the priority list.

There was an emergency therapy session today. I had a long written list of Things That Are Making Me Freak Out.

I can only tell you about one of the minor things:  the man at church.

He freaks me out.

He’s gotta be in his 80s and I thought he was nice to me a couple of weeks ago. I told my mom about it and she said that he was flirting. I said of course not. I reminded her of his age. She said that some men will flirt with their mortician, so his being in his 80s doesn’t really preclude that behavior. I laughed at her. And then forgot.

But she was right, it turns out. The 80s-ish man with a hearing aid got his flirt on with me during the quiet, serene, SILENT, and reverent passing of the plate time and i thought i’d just DIE of embarrassment. He loudly started hitting on me. THEN. OF ALL TIMES. LET ME JUST DIE NOW, JESUS. Folks around us adjusted hearing aids and turned around to stare. My face got really really hot and my hair was in a ponytail so i couldn’t even hide behind it. I made a tiny, involuntary high pitched whimper sound, but I could. not. help.  it.

Solution: Never sit there again. EVER. Despite the alarming, impassioned invitation to do so pretty much forever.

Lesson: If there is always a blank spot in the same place each week, WONDER WHY. Be suspicious. MISTRUST THE HARMLESS LOOKING OLDIES, if necessary.


Seth-6yr last night told me that in order to live a longer life, I should pet animals. I smiled. He looked pointedly back and forth from me to the cat, who was across the room. And then when that didn’t work, he told me to GO PET THE ANIMAL. He said he’d read about this is in a book. There was something urgent in his face. I asked if he was worried about me. He said he was. So I petted the cat.

I found out why he was worried about the length of my life a little later. I’ll be doing other things besides just petting a cat in order to live to another Sunday and a different pew. I’m fine. I got this. I just hate it that Seth-6yr felt he had to strategize for my safety.

Solution: Pet a cat. NOW, MOM.

Oh, so cute.

He’s right though. Nothing wrong with new, out of the box strategies.


6 Comments on “The Secret of Long Life, by Seth-6yr”

April 30th, 2012
8:13 pm

I too have heard this; petting a cat or dog is supposed to lower blood pressure or something, and it sounds like you need something like that right now. e=mail me if you want to talk. I’m always here.
Did you find the foil blanket? If so, you could have just pulled it up over your head and pretended to be a giant baked potato, or Jiffypop popcorn.
I hope you live forever, or at least as long as I do, so you can keep writng these fall=down=funny posts!
Jan recently posted..Faith in a Phone Booth

May 1st, 2012
7:09 am

This has been a really a bad week for you. I’m so sorry. I really hope tomorrow is a brighter more beautiful day. I wish I could give you a hug. I COULD give you a few more cats to pet… Since our runaway from last year was actually just hanging out at the neighbors house and now that she has five kittens, they wanted us to come and fetch her back…

BUT if Seth-6yr is worried about you then I can’t help but be too!

(Speaking to everyone here) Is it time for a road trip to Texas, girls? (Speaking to Kelsey) I’ll be praying for you.

May 1st, 2012
7:32 am

Oh, please do pet a cat. And hug the boys. And mom. I wish I were there to give you a hug too!

Mother T
May 4th, 2012
7:29 am

I’m so sorry about the man at church. Some people behave so inappropriately!

I think it’s wonderful that Seth is so concerned about you calming down that he made you pet the cat. Kids are so much more in tune with our emotions than we realize. So, pet the cat, the dog, the boys, as often as you need to so that your stress levels will drop.

May 7th, 2012
5:45 am

I’ve heard the same thing: petting animals can lower your stress level. I think there’s some truth to it. Plus, petting shaved cats is particularly fun. In my experience they feel like a brillo pad one way, and silky smooth the other way.

May 13th, 2012
4:51 am

Okay, I hadn’t read this entry yet when I mentioned in your other entry that I might freak you out. No comparisons to an inappropriate old man, okay?

Leave a comment

CommentLuv badge