Friday, May 4th 2012
Come On, Eavesdrop, I Don’t Mind At All.

Heard/Spoken Around These Parts Lately:

 

Sesth-6yr, upon hearing of a person’s pattern of bad choices in a passing conversation: “Fiery DARTS. That’s what that is. Fiery darts from hell. Learned about that at school, yes we did, FI- UHR-EEE DARTS. I’m gonna play basketball now.”  I looked up Ephesians 6:16. Seth-6yr was RIGHT on track with that unexpected word.

“Restraining Orders. Tell me everything you know, please.” (turned out to be unnecessary. no, not Mike)

“Does God ever speak to you through Johnny Cash? LISTEN TO THIS, it’s about when people lie about you, LOVE IT, best line is “long tongue liars” and what happens to them. God CUTS! THEM! DOWN!”

Seth-6yr, in a pathetic voice while getting tucked into bed and feeling like stirring up some drama: “Mom, sometimes the Enemy says to me, ‘your mom is the worst cooker ever’ and then it makes me sad.”

(the above was immediately followed by a gaspy laughing spitting yelling reaction that had him hiding his dimples in his pillow because he KNEW he couldn’t have gotten a better reaction than that.)

“You are a little mama, but that’s okay because you are tougher than big guys.”  (I don’t feel like that right now, but let em think it anyway.)

“God either put us together to be friends because He knew we needed each other — or we just drew together all on our own like two magnets because no one else in this town has lives as screwed up as ours.”

“Where do you go to school?” This one had to have been the strangest. It was a neighbor of my mother’s, my age, and she was talking to ME. Hello? Divorcing. Mother of four. WRINKLES. But hey, that’s fine.

My dad, via text: “It’s been a long time since you asked me how to fix something you broke.”

My dad, via text, regarding my adamant refusal to be set up with a ‘nice guy’ he knows, and my telling him I also was not interested in the average sized man named Tiny who tried to pick me up at Lowe’s: “OH. There’s never a good reason for an average sized man to be nicknamed TINY.”

(That is an excellent observation.)

“Even though it’s been months, I still have a DENT in my left ring finger. Like one of those African women who has the gold rings around her neck and then she gets deformed? That’s what this is like… OH. NO. NEVERMIND. THAT”S AWFUL. MAYBE I”M BEING CYNICAL ABOUT MARRIAGE. SORRY.”

“Is it terrible that I threw open the door with a smile when I saw it was the Constable because I was hoping he was serving me with divorce papers? YES. Yes, I guess it is. WOW I HAVE A BAD ATTITUDE.”

 

 

 

 

~hm

7 Comments on “Come On, Eavesdrop, I Don’t Mind At All.”

1
Tvp
May 5th, 2012
9:38 am

My Pastor told me that if I decided to take care of the situation, revenge, anger, trying to make the person feel horrible because of what they did, that God won’t!! That he’ll stand back and love the person because were doing His job, and that no one can do His job better then Him!! Soooo I’m letting go!! Gods working!!
These are to funny!! Your boys are hilarious! I think it’s great that you can blog through everything!!

2
emergingclarity
May 5th, 2012
3:11 pm

I tried to use the “contact me” form on the sidebar and it’s not working. Unfortunately a download required a reboot and I lost the whole humungous note (drat!).

3
Kelsey
May 5th, 2012
4:06 pm

tvp,

sounds wonderful. i’ve been wondering about you this week! (i think there’s a difference between taking care of the situation and standing up for yourself if you need to. just my opinion there.)

HAVE to blog through stuff! : )

emergingclarity,
i’m sorry!!!! oh how frustrating!!!! it’s been broken forever, but i didn’t know it could wreak havoc like that. i’m emailing you now!

if anyone else wants contact info, and sees this, it’s that first and second ‘k’ last name all together and then after is the at circle-y thing and g ma a i l dotcom right after that and you’re good.

4
Geekwif
May 7th, 2012
6:00 am

It’s okay that you’re a “little mama” whether or not you’re tougher than the big guys, because your God is bigger and tougher than any of them.

I love your dad’s comment about the nickname “Tiny”. And he’s probably only trying to set you up because he wants to be sure someone’s there to take care of you. Which actually is pretty dang sweet.

I don’t think that wanting to be served divorce papers indicates a bad attitude at all. You need this to be over and done. If he’s dragging it out, that is incredibly unfair to you. Don’t take that on yourself.

5
Jan
May 7th, 2012
10:35 pm

Maybe the guy was tiny when he was young child. We have a friend who was preemie, and yeah, Tiny doesn’t fit so well now, but we still call her that, and will until we die, I guess.
I *think* the dent will go away. Eventually. On the other hand, some scars just never go away.
You are indeed a little mama, but tough as they come, and backed up by our great big good God.
One of Jeana’s kids memorized Cocaine Blues, and sang it incessantly for weeks! Gotta love some Cash.
Jan recently posted..Faith in a Phone Booth

6
Tvp
May 8th, 2012
5:20 pm

Oh I totally agree, we have to stand up for ourselves!! But I’ve tried to change him, instead of allowing God to do it, who can do it waaaay better then me!! But I’m just now realizing that!! Lol

7
Jennifer Sullivan
May 16th, 2012
12:16 am

Oh how I’ve missed you! That is probably the best reaction that constable ever received when knocking on someone’s door.
Jennifer Sullivan recently posted..I’m THAT girl

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