Tuesday, May 8th 2012
Proven Dispute Resolution Technique: Guacamole

For a long time, Seth-6yr would exclaim, “Holy Guacamole!” in response to any of life’s more exciting occurrences. You have a homework paper you forgot? Holy guacamole!  You need to go to the bathroom? Holy guacamole!  You are surprised at the antics of the cat? Holy guacamole!

This OFFENDED Caden-8yr. He always wanted me to reprimand his brother. I always declined. And laughed. Finally, I asked Caden-8yr if he felt that this was somehow… in some way… disrespectful to God. Maybe that was the source of his discontent.

And? It was.

Like, “taking the Lord’s name in vain” sort of blasphemy?


“But… we do not serve a God named guacamole. So…? I’m really okay with this, Caden-8yr.”


He got irritated.

So of course Seth-6yr said it more.

I ignored it.

And then one day I decided that I would try to address it differently. I made guacamole. I covered the bowl with a stainless steel bowl, turned upside down so it looked like a silver cloche in a fancy restaurant.

I called the boys to the table, and instructed Caden-8yr to pray over the silver domed mystery bowl.

He hesitated. He giggled. He said he didn’t know what to pray.

I told him he HAD to do this and it was very important to transforming the contents of the bowl.  Just  pray over it and bless whatever food was beneath the dome.

He did.


Then I unveiled it and asked him what it was.


“UH? NO.”

I took it over to Seth-6yr and asked him to peek and announce what it was.  He had no idea.

I whispered the answer and he  shouted, “HOLY GUACAMOLE!”


And the 2 boys who had fought over holy guacamole shared a bowl (and a chair) and happily ate it and no one objected to that phrase  again.

I thought that was the end of the story.


But yesterday Seth-6yr came home with a bracelet with the word ‘Guatemala’ embroidered on it. A friend of his had returned from a trip with bracelets for all her classmates. Seth-6yr was distraught because he lost his “guacamole bracelet.” I told him it wasn’t guacamole. I had him repeat Guatemala a few times.

Then, as I left his room after tucking him in, he said, “Will it make anyone mad if I say Holy Guatemala?”


And… yes. It probably will.

But that’s okay.



2 Comments on “Proven Dispute Resolution Technique: Guacamole”

May 8th, 2012
10:33 am

Holy word choices, Batman! Your kids crack me up. I hope Seth found his Holy guatamala bracelet, and wears it forever.
Jan recently posted..Faith in a Phone Booth

May 8th, 2012
12:53 pm

“Holy Guatemala!” That boy is so funny – even when he’s so serious!

(Although you are also hilarious, with your exercise in creating actual holy guacamole! I can see where Seth gets it.)

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