Friday, July 13th 2012
Intervention Interrupted

The boys are helping me with my closet. There comes a time… six months after the closet officially becomes ALL mine, that even the children are bothered that I haven’t claimed the space that used to house Mike’s stuff.

I tried a few times.  I put a thousand bikinis in a drawer and forgot about them and then frantically wondered where they went and could NOT remember. I decided a bikini thief had struck. I was sure of it. I’d read an article on a crime website about a guy like that once. (I remembered where they were in the middle of the night. And then went to check.  So relieved.) Also, I stashed a lot of old crafty stuff i’ll never use again in a far corner. But mainly, I avoided that side of the closet. That was Mike’s space. Still.

I tried to take over his bathroom drawers. I cleaned and scrubbed because there were little black whiskers in there from his electric shaver. It grossed me out and made me sad. And then when the drawers were clean, I just couldn’t think of what I could possibly want to put in there. Sure, I have a ton of stuff… but,  I mean, those drawers were waaaaay over there.  My stuff doesn’t go there… That was Mike’s space. Still.

The stupid bed project isn’t going much better. I gave away all the old bedroom furniture. I got a much smaller bed and moved it to a different place in the room. Bought a VERY old bed and spent countless hours refinishing it. It’s not finished. Re-finished. Finished being refinished. Whatever. I could do it. I should do it. There’s really nothing stopping me. Except everything. Except that it’s MY bed. Only mine. Only my space. I tell myself that I can’t decide on a color. But I’m guessing it’s probably more than that.

The boys came into the closet with me this morning, put their hands on their hips, and told me they wanted to help. Callie, the border collie mix, came as well. It’s a big closet. They can all fit in there with me, even with their hands on their hips. So I guess they sense it’s time, too.

Okay, maybe if three little boys and a border collie mix stage a closet intervention, it’s probably PAST time.

It just feels so strange sometimes. By the time this is legally over, we will have been married 16 years. At least. (Okay, actually, by the time it’s legally over, we may have been married 60 years.)  Even when we were together, we were highly separate. There wasn’t a lot of sharing of space, time, energy, words,  vacations, meals, possessions. Now it feels like moving into those spaces is like sharing those spaces… and that’s a weird time to start doing anything like that.

So. This is where i am. I’ll let you know when I take over those spaces and get the bed done.

I’m thinking blue. With fuschia.

(yes, really.)

 

And maybe I could build shelves for that long closet wall just for the purpose of holding a cute boot collection. I could do that. I could SO do that.

~hm

11 Comments on “Intervention Interrupted”

1
HairstylistKT
July 13th, 2012
3:23 pm

You will get there! Blue with fuschia?! Sounds fabulous to me! Go for it

2
michele
July 14th, 2012
8:51 am

Yeah, if you mean that frosty color of light blue like the back ground to this blog, that would be pretty with fuschia.

Kelsey, I know this isn’t any of my business, but you’ve got to finalize this divorce somehow soon. If you don’t, you’re going to be wooed by him in a weak moment and since you’re still technically married, allow him privileges that he doesn’t deserve (because he never valued the sanctity of your marriage–and probably NEVER will). And THEN you’ll just be his distant wife that he keeps on a leash for lonely times between romps and frolics with whoever’s cute at the moment. That’s why God made the old testament men give their wives a certificate of divorce in the Bible. Because they’d just keep an old wife that they couldn’t live with, estranged on the side somewhere and reel her back in every once in a while for fun. Those women could never move on with their lives and start looking for a healthier relationship and provider. They were perpetually hung by a thread in a bad relationship–feeling cheap, dirty and unloved. I don’t want that for you. You’re strong and have all your senses now, but you never know what will take place in the future. Too many broken things at one time and an invasion of snakes or creepy crawlies and you never know what a woman will do when she’s at her wits end and faced with a rescuer who feels entitled to a reward.

I’m glad your sons are so supportive and helpful. It’s really sweet. Makes me sad that my own children are too spoiled to help me with anything. I have no clue how to rectify that problem–mostly because I hate yelling and screaming and punishing to get results. It makes me feel so wicked. :/

3
Kelsey
July 14th, 2012
6:57 pm

HairstylistKT,
HI! yes, i think i will. and as for those great bangs you gave me…? i love them. i have butchered them repeatedly with kitchen shears, but i do still love them, thanks!!

michele!!!!???
geez, i love you, girl. you are a wonderfully unpredictable, passionate sort and your family must adore you for that. let me uh, address, a few things:
um… no sex. since december, if we are being REAL candid here. And mike is hardly interested in wooing me in any way, and kinda wasn’t ever anyway, so i think that we can just not worry about the legality of marriage and privileges and all of that, but WOW i feel so honored that you even thought to defend my, well, honor. HA! so cute, michele. i’m not that particularly interesting to men (or women. or really anyone) including mike, and do not foresee that changing or causing any dilemmas of any sort.

” You’re strong and have all your senses now, but you never know what will take place in the future. Too many broken things at one time and an invasion of snakes or creepy crawlies and you never know what a woman will do when she’s at her wits end and faced with a rescuer who feels entitled to a reward.”

ADORABLE. OOOH MYGOSH. I think my favorite part is that first sentence.

And, I get where you’re coming from. And I appreciate the concern and the scene you describe. I haven’t specifically said, “I do not rely on Mike in times of crisis or snakes” so you have no way of knowing that. But. I don’t. I do NOT allow myself to need to be rescued, and if there is something bigger than I can handle I call a professional. No friends, no favors, no emotions. It’s actually a policy too closely kept, really, but it does prevent the scenario you so sweetly want to prevent for me and thank you. (sincerely. thank you.)

my adorable children were probably just bored. and your adorable children are probably very much like my adorable children. mine also happen to be spoiled, according to caden-8yr. i was telling him how great it is that whenever i ask one of them to do the dishes or take out the trash, they are always so eager and sweet to do it without griping. sometimes they even fight over who can do it. when i asked caden about it he laughed his head off and told me that they know how easy they have it because i don’t ever make them do very much work.
?!

so you can bet i changed that!! and now they have regular chores, those sweet spoiled brats of mine!. : )

4
Geekwif
July 15th, 2012
11:04 am

I love that your boys were so eager to help (bored or otherwise)!

I’d love to see a photo of that bed in blue and fuschia. I have a picture in my head of what it would look like (adorable!), but it would be fun to see if your “finished re-finished” project looks like the picture in my head.

And a shelf just for cute boots? Awesome! I say take that space! Claim it! Make it yours and be sure to wear your tiara the whole time you’re doing so!

P.S. How are the ribs? Feeling any better yet?

5
Katherine
July 15th, 2012
7:14 pm

Count me in on “yay” for the cool headboard! I hope you post pics when you are finished. Your blog inspired me to go to an Annie Sloan workshop, and I am hooked!!

I’m sad to read your responses about feeling uninteresting to men. From what I’ve read here, you are beautiful, inside and out. Don’t let your ex-husband’s foolishness make you think that there is something wrong with you! I remember it taking a couple of years after my divorce to feel like myself again–timing can be more or less for different people–and I hope that, soon, you will stabilize. Taking over ALL spaces is exactly what I’d do, lol!! Enjoy doing so! :)

6
Cindy
July 15th, 2012
11:17 pm

Hi Kelsey. I read your blog once in a while and love how you write. so funny and sweetly honest. ( I don’t keep up with it so miss a hugh amount ) My 16 year old daughter happened to see me reading and wanted me to send her the link. She really liked you. you have so much talent and cute personality. I’m sure there is good man waiting in the wings for the proper time. Just prayed for you. God bless:)

7
Kelsey
July 15th, 2012
11:44 pm

GW,
i have simply got to start doing the before and after picture thing. MUST.

ribs. better, yes, thanks! have started running and hauling furniture again. : )

Katherine,
oh i’m jealous!!! you did the whole as workshop thing?! i think i need pictures of projects! (and geekwif probably does as well!)

judging by your response, and cindy’s after yours, I’m thinking i was a bit too vague on the uninteresting to men thing. that actually wasn’t a complaint! i’m quite sure i’m uninteresting socially in all regards, but that’s by design and choice and it’s a mutual preference between me and most of humanity at the moment. my usual anti-social stuff is in serious SKYHIGH gear. partly i was blindsided by the people who disappeared – and partly i don’t like that another group of people are being VERY nice and i’m afraid it’s just that they pity me. and i don’t need or want that and would rather just be left alone by everyone than go there.. you know?

Cindy,
how nice to meet you! (and what kind words!) and… i really hope that prayer was not for a “good man”!!? can i say that?! because oooooh, so not interested in going there! am doing the Alone and Always thing with great enthusiasm.
(I always wanted to be named Cindy. Or Jo. Or Kristina. With a k.)

8
Mysti
July 16th, 2012
1:31 pm

The very idea of you having an entire SHELF just for BOOTS consumes me with envy. I will now go back to praying to be more content with what I *do* have (a place to keep the 2 – 4 pairs of boots I have) rather than envying you your potential Boot Shelf of Wonder.

<–betting Kelsey is way more interesting to men than she thinks, but now is not the time for men for her. That time will come someday. But for now, she is doing pretty darn well on her own.

9
Melissa
July 16th, 2012
8:53 pm

I have one pair of boots. Does that count? I do, however, need an extra rod-thingy to hang up everything that i currently have folded. Not sure how that would happen since my closet is as big as a telephone booth. Remember those?

<—Betting ol' Kelse is way more interesting that she thinks too. She mud-bogs and writes about soapy penises. Or rather, soap-shaped penises. I know that would intrigue any man, they are so wrapped up in that appendage.

Love you girl, don't change.

10
Kelsey
July 17th, 2012
2:02 pm

Mysti,
you’re sweet. and i’m a mess. (but that’s okay!) the boot shelf won’t be big. also okay.

melissa,
you BET that counts. i’m getting rid of those rod thingies to make room for shelves!

i made this gaspy thing when i read your comment and was like, “WHAT?! I wrote about WHAT?” before continuing on. And whhhhew. i was afraid my private writing archives had somehow been published there for a moment. ; )

11
Jan
July 17th, 2012
8:11 pm

Not interesting? Oh my grief! You are one of my most interesting friends! And I sure wish I could find some boots that fit, at a great price.
Jan recently posted..Dickens’ Fairy Tale

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