It’s that time again. Where you can say to your children, “Stop it or I’ll make you watch badminton.”
Caden-8yr suggested I was kidding.
Ethan-12yr said, “No, she means it, I can tell. Stop it.”
If only that threat would work during church. BOY that would have been good today.
I inappropriately giggled my way through a really good sermon on the importance of looking at the fruit in someone’s life. I couldn’t help it. Caden-8yr got restless and adjusted his waistband and there was the very loud, unmistakable SNAP of the elastic in his underwear popping back into place. He slowly turned his gaze to mine and his eyes just got bigger and bigger and his little pale face flushed pink. Adorable.
Seth-6yr sat next to me and kept leaning over to sniff me. He was trying to be subtle. But he wasn’t. Then he’d smile. And say, “You smell like a guhl.” The way he said it, it seemed like a good thing. It’s a weird thing all the boys have been doing lately. Sniffing me in a deliberate way. Then discussing amongst themselves the differences between how bad boys can smell and how good guhls can smell.
Then there was the Offering. OH, the Offering. We sit near the back. By the time the ushers send the plates down our pew, the whole thing is almost over. The plate gets to Ethan-12yr today… and STOPS. He had been concentrating on drawing something, so it caught him by surprise. He balances the plate in his lap and then digs around in all his pockets looking for his wallet. ALL his pockets. And of course it was the day that the child was wearing cargo pants.
The offering plate tips and slants and almost spills a million times as he balances it on his knees while searching every last pocket. I’m hiding behind my hand. Trying not to laugh. Mouthing apologies to the usher. I’m a few people down, and cannot do anything except watch this continue. Finally, Ethan-12yr locates his wallet. He pulls it out and opens it LOUDLY, because he is a 12 yr old boy and of course it has ton of VELCRO and then he takes forever. He leans over across a few people and says, “My tithe is RIGHT HERE.”
We have a new system of chores/allowance/giving/spending/financial responsibility stuff. It’s all very good. We’re all learning.
Ethan-12 yr beams at me, drops his tithe in, and passes the plate.
I beam right back.
It’s kinda a miracle I heard any of the message today. But it would have been a good morning, even if I hadn’t.