I was supposed to herd some cattle.
Before the unplanned smashing of my ribs. It was on the schedule. A trip was planned. A little tiny town right near the little tiny town my dad lives in has this cattle herding thing that sounds REALLY fantastic. So HolyCousin and I were all set to go herd up some cattle.
That’s probably not how you say it. But we can give me a break on that since I haven’t done it before. And then there’s that whole vegetarian thing. I’m not expected to get the terminology right. Or eat the big steak dinner afterward. I hope. Oh GOSH, let’s not even think about that.
There might have been chaps.
We’ll get to it eventually.
Seth-6yr remembered this plan a few weeks ago and said, “Hey, Mom. Weren’t you supposed to go herd some sheeps?”
“Um, NO.” I could just picture Little Bo Peep standing with a curved stick thing, serenely looking at a peaceful flock of unmoving sheep. Or, sheeps, as Seth-6yr says. Either way, it’s not EVEN close to what I was going for. “I was supposed to herd cattle.”
“Oh. Right.” And after a long pause, “What’s a cattle?”
Don’t let his Texas accent fool ya.
The ribs are improving. They just aren’t ready for cattle herding.
Maybe Little Bo Peep style sheep watching.
But that just doesn’t even sound fun.
I would imagine that the business and financial interests of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are extremely elaborate and complicated and yet they already have figured out the whole divorce thing and quietly agreed on a settlement? WHAT?! HOW FAST?
It’s been 6 months. We have not yet filed. We are in the ongoing and endless process of meeting after meeting. I spend many hours of my life in these meetings, preparing for these meetings, dreading them, crying and analyzing afterwards, and yet wishing for more of them so that we might be somewhat more DONE.
At the end of a 2 1/2 hour meeting last week with Mike and myself and a facilitator type, we negotiated through endless custody paperwork and got to the very last legal point. It said something like, “All of this is out the window if y’all remarry.” And that made no sense, because I fully expect Mike to remarry some beautiful young thing rather quickly (just a hunch, I have no idea if they have even met yet) and we had previously covered several points in the paperwork that referred to just such an instance. The facilitator type asked if that was clear and I was COMPLETELY confused and I looked at Mike and he was not confused and I tried to clarify a few different times because WHAT? None of our agreed upon custody terms will be in effect if Mike remarries? What the hell is that?! And the facilitator type calmly explained that the clause in question actually meant if Mike and I remarry. EACH OTHER. And I couldn’t help it. I laughed and snotted and spit and collapsed forward on my lap and made horrible noises. SORRY, but that was funny. And shocking. And unexpected. And through all of that, I’m apologizing. But not too sincerely.
And DANG but I am so graceful.