Saturday, October 13th 2012
The Car (barely) Survives

When life was REALLY stressing me out, and I wasn’t blogging at all, I had three minor car accidents in three weeks. And I ran a blazingly red light. Which I didn’t notice until after I’d sped through and a guy in a truck had honked, almost hit me, and then flipped me off. THEN I realized that light had been red.

I was ‘distracted.’ My lovely therapist lady said I was trying to ‘go on autopilot’ – as many of us do when we drive – but my autopilot feature wasn’t functioning. Too much other stuff in my head.

None of those events occurred with children in the car. NONE. Thank God. And none involved other people at all. (Except the guy in the pickup who was really quite rude.)

I rammed my car up onto a stupidly placed pillar at the bank. After exiting the drive through teller thingy. Smashed up on it on the left side. I rolled down the window and looked at my predicament. The teller yelled at me through the drive through intercom speaker thing and asked if I was okay. I said I was. He asked if I was crying. Asked if he needed to come out there.

UH NO. I”M LAUGHING. And the threat of additional human contact had me off that pillar faster than I could strategize how to minimize further damage. But it wasn’t that bad. Not really.

The next week I loaded up my car with a ton of trash (because it’s amazing how much trash one can sack when one is suddenly ready to move) and drove to the dumpster in the alley. I had on cute shoes. It was muddy. SURE the shoes were probably only $25 on clearance a couple years ago but CUTE is CUTE and so I dumped the trash and then backed out of the alley and smashed into a sign that has ALWAYS been there and I’ve never run into before in nine years. It’s one of those little orange ones that says “WARNING.”

Stupid sign. It’s just asking for it.

I broke off some useless looking cream metal-ish part that is supposed to protect the front end of the driver’s side running board. Not that I knew that. I reversed, smashed the sign, looked around to see if any of the neighbors saw it and then, relieved, returned to my driveway. And then noticed the cream abandoned car part in the alley and ran over and got it, all sneaky-like.

And noticed it really wasn’t that muddy and my cheap but cute shoes probably woulda been just fine and the ugly, mangled cream metal-y piece in my hand was probably a lot more than $25. Sigh.

A few days later I reversed into the garage door. I mean, SMASH. I’ve never done that before. that’s silly. It was ridiculous to have done it NOW. The garage door was on its way up and I don’t know why it took sooooo long that particular morning. But it did. I reversed before it was all the way up and the gigantic 4 foot long brake light that normally sits ABOVE my back window…? dangled and fell. And the garage door is really not as sturdy as it should be, it turns out.  Good to know NOW.

It was so bent up that it wouldn’t open and shut correctly. I backed the car into the driveway, put my giant broken brake light in the floor board next to the previous week’s cream mangled metal-y car part and set to work on the garage door. It was in the open position, but wouldn’t come down because the car had bent it outward and it was being all picky. I got a giant long flathead screwdriver, a garage  door clicker, and then pushed the clicker button and wedged the screwdriver up between the garage door and the frame and bent with all the divorce angst I had within me. Over and over. Playing chicken with a garage door, armed with a  screwdriver. Not thinking about the nice cat in my mom’s neighborhood that sadly didn’t win his own garage door battle. (Not that he had a screwdriver.)

And when I bent it enough for it to clear the frame and then it closed again, I leaned and pushed and bodyslammed the door in the closed position so that it went mostly back to straight. I did not look around to see if anyone saw this. I was beyond that point.

you can hardly tell now. If you look at the garage door. The car is another story.

it’s got these scrape-y parts all over the left side, it’s bent-ish quite a bit, and there’s a dangly wire thing hanging down across the back window and a vacancy where a long red light used to be. But it’s fine. Sure it’s getting older. Going through a few scrapes. Looking a little worse for wear and most people woulda traded it in by now. So what if it’s falling apart faster than I can remember or afford to take it to the shop. WHATEVER.

That’s just life. And it goes on. And it’s okay. Getting better all the time.


(I’m back to previous levels of safety now. It took weeks of turning on the car, turning off the radio, putting the cell phone in the center console, praying a little prayer, and then saying out loud, “I AM DRIVING. THAT IS MY ONLY FOCUS. I AM A SAFE, SAFE DRIVER” – yes actually OUT LOUD – every time I got in the car. And now I’m okay. Re-focused. Less stressed. I haven’t smashed things in awhile. Dont’ worry, locals.)


3 Comments on “The Car (barely) Survives”

October 13th, 2012
10:03 am

Kelsey, maybe you are getting too old to drive ;) Haha. That’s what we told Wick’s daddy when he ran over the pillar at the bank for the third time, and carried off the little tube thingy that is supposed to carry one’s deposit through time and space.
So glad to see your sense of humor is intact, even if the car isn’t.
Jan recently posted..Uncle Hardy, Big Tex, and Santa Claus

October 13th, 2012
10:26 am

Yes I AM, jan!! : )

A friend called when I was n the garage door fixing mode and told me I needed to take away her ph before she sends another text she shouldn’t. I told her she needed to take away my keys. She suggested men to call who could help fix it and I started screaming NO!!!! MEN!!! As I frequently do.

I do have issues.

October 14th, 2012
8:00 am

Oh my gosh, I did that at the bank too. Only in my case it was a decorative boulder. It was Sunday and the church across the street was just getting out so there were PLENTY of people around to watch me be a car klutz. Talk about embarrassing.

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