I was on the phone with my mother yesterday and she said the word ‘scrotum.’ She doesn’t usually drop that word into conversation. But she did yesterday. And I was all, “YES! THANK YOU. THAT IS THE WORD I WAS TRYING TO THINK OF YESTERDAY.”
“You were trying to think of the word, ‘scrotum’?'”
OH YES. And there are some things you just hesitate to ask google.
“because Caden-8yr said he had beans in his penis and there were so many things wrong with that but i couldn’t remember that word.”
Actually what happened was that Caden-8yr did the “helicopter dance” in his undies and asked what the beans in his penis were called.
I said, “WHAT? You do not have BEANS in your PENIS?”
And he said, “yeah I KNOW, Mom. But you don’t like it when i say balls or nuts.”
“OH MY GOSH. Testicles. And they’re not IN–”
He jumped and yelled about testisicle/icicles jiggling.
Ethan-12yr yelled from in his room about something ‘giggling.’
I said, “That’s NOT what he said.”
He asked what was said.
I repeated it, loud enough for him to hear in his room.
Ethan-12yr screamed. He doesn’t willingly enter conversations in which body parts may be mentioned. It was quite the accident. He really thought it was about something else entirely.
Seth-7yr decided to take pity on me, because he just found out that I do not have this exact equipment, and I must need a remedial course on this. “Ackshually Mom. They ARE in there. In the penis. Like, THEY MOVE. You don’t know that because you know, you um, you don’t call yours that, but um, like, really. They move in there. They TOTALLY do.” He nodded his head very seriously. Slightly proud to educate me about this phenomenon. Because as a mother of three boys, OBVIOUSLY I DON’T KNOW.
“They’re not beans. They’re not in your penis. Go to bed, I am SO DONE WITH THIS.”
“Okay. I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
“They do move.”
“You should really go to sleep, then.”
In hindsight, it was probably better that I could not recall the word ‘scrotum’ at that moment. I can’t see how that word would have been all that helpful.