Friday, January 25th 2013
Security Update

Safety. We got it.

After the last creepy attempted drug buy on the front porch, I finally called the non emergency police line and had a chat with a guy named Wes. He said they’d put the house on “a watch” for a month.

I figured I better email the landlord. It’s his house. And so I did. Not exactly expecting anything. And only a ‘hey… here’s what’s been going on, everything’s fine, but this is the current status of the No Drugs Here program…” sort of brief little thingy.

It was 10pm. He called immediately and was QUITE upset.

Apparently this guy KNOWS the previous tenants slash drug dealers and has known them for more than 10 years. His entire family knows this guy’s entire family. He was FLOORED. And he processed it all in a verbal, shocked, emotional, detailed way on the phone, for like FOREVER. I nodded. Uhh huhhhed.  Hmmm, really-ed? And every once in awhile he’d stop and apologize and say that when he kept saying he didn’t believe it, he wasn’t saying he didn’t believe ME – he did – he just couldn’t quite get his head around this. And on. And on. And then he’d say that part again about explaining his incredulity.

After the second or third time, I stopped him. “HEY. I GET IT. You’re saying you really KNEW this person for a large portion of your life and now you find out that he’s been doing something you completely assumed he was INCAPABLE of, because it’s totally reprehensible and not who you thought you knew. And criminal. And awful. And unsafe and stupid and YEAH I GET IT, OKAY? I understand COMPLETELY. You’re just processing. And you’re shocked. Yeah, I totally recognize this. It’s fine.”

Once he got past that part, he went into FIX IT NOW mode. This was not expected. But it is appreciated. He told me to change my little pink signs, and what he wanted them to read instead. He said he’d install a camera on the porch and put stickers up alerting to the new video surveillance equipment. He said he’d call someone who had connections with the narcotics department of the police force and get the dealers shut down immediately at their new address, and also there would be a “watch” put on the house that was several levels up in priority than whatever you get if you don’t have connections and you call and talk to a guy named Wes. He described how there would be all kinds of unmarked vehicles and other people watching that I’d never see. People who looked like thugs, but who would be good safe watchful types. He wanted to know why I only just now sent one little email, “I DON’T KNOW, I HAVE TROUBLE ASKING FOR HELP, GEEZ?” (And no. I did NOT tell him about the roaches.)

He told me to please tell my boys that he would do everything he could to fix this and to make this the safe home they deserved. He said he had to go so he could call the police friend guy.

I did NOT cry weird shocked grateful tears until well after I hung up.

THAT was not what I expected in the slightest. It hadn’t occurred to me that this reaction might actually even be in the realm of possibility. I didn’t really want to inconvenience the guy, so my brief little email kinda downplayed the whole attempted icky drug trade subject matter with a smattering of minimizing adjectives and weak, passive verbs. It had been informative, brief, and NOT seeking any sort of reaction or assistance. And yet that’s what I got. (I’m still ‘processing’ that.  Can you tell?)

The next morning at 6:45 he sent a text that read, “your house is being watched VERY carefully.”

Um…? That woulda been creepy from anyone else at any other time I suppose. But I wasn’t quite convinced. Maybe he just said all of that but wasn’t really a follow through type. That might make more sense.

But the camera appeared one day while I was gone, and warning type security stickers, and there was a definite increase in weird creepy types doing drive bys and then it slowed down. And no more knocking on the door.

The kids are more relaxed.

It’s like the whole big constant threat thing just got taken care of. And I didn’t have to do a thing.

i was already strategizing the things I WOULD obviously have to consider: workout changes, focusing on strength and punching; gun research, classes, target practice etc; pepper spray; recording of dogs that bark since my dogs DON’T….

I may still do some of that. I did change my exercise stuff, but not because there was the same urgency to get tougher than the bad guys. That one particular stress, that ONE particular problem I didn’t realize was taking up so much of my energy… gone. Solved.

I just… don’t even understand. Sometimes I’ll just keep writing and before I’m done, I’ve sort of figured it out WITH you. That’s what it feels like to me, anyway. It’s not happening this time. I can’t even explain really what’s so confusing. It just is.

I’ll stop writing, anyway. Just wanted to update you.

All is well in the security department. Also. I’m confused. 

UGH. I just can’t end it like that. Here let me distract you from my unresolved issues with a weird dream snippet. don’t you LOVE when people go on and on about their dreams and it made total sense to them and it’s just like, um, not the same at all for you? Right. Let’s do that.

This morning I woke up LAUGHING. I could only remember the end of a dream where Bert (of bert and ernie, the yellow one) was saying, “THAT’S THE LAST OF THE POTATOES, *ITCHES!” It was SHOCKING. And so funny. And I have no idea what it was about, but I somehow knew he was referring to whole potatoes, skin on, and not mashed. Just imagine Bert swearing in his sesame street bert-voice. OH MY GOSH, it was funny. 



5 Comments on “Security Update”

January 26th, 2013
3:02 am

In my dreams it’s always Ernie who’s forcefully commenting upon the lack of additional tubers. But I guess — to each his own.

Can’t tell you how glad I am about your security issues being so utterly solved. That’s the best story I’ve heard today.

Also, my guess is that Wes wishes he had as much pull as your landlord who’s not even on the force but gets stuff done OVERNIGHT. Yikes. That’s scary effective. (In the good scary way.)

January 26th, 2013
9:29 am

Wow. Your landlord must have some pretty crazy connections to get things done that quickly and thoroughly. I can’t tell you how glad I am that you have some good security now! Still, I wouldn’t rule out being sure you have the ability to defend yourself if necessary, whatever that means for you. Don’t be afraid – just prepared.

I’m in a restaurant with my Geek and my laptop having breakfast, reading your blog, and your Bert dream made me laugh out loud. Had to tell him about it and now we’re both giggling about it. Too funny!!

January 27th, 2013
12:14 pm

Soooo…now that you know your landlord is a caring, sensitive human being, will you please tell him about the a/c issues and let him do what landlords do for their lovely sweet kind tenants, despite their weirdness? ;)
Love the dream sharing. I’m always having weird dreams–once dreamed that Wick did something that made me really mad, and was mad at him for hours after I woke up–I know, totally does not make sense, unless you know me!
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January 27th, 2013
10:29 pm

I’m glad the security worked out, Kelsey! :)

January 27th, 2013
11:18 pm

hey, jrw! texan dad type! yeah, it WOULD be ernie, right? definitely.

I don’t know about wes. he didn’t seem that ambitious. : )

okay i had NOT considered it a bert dream until you said that. i thought it was a potato dream. but it wasn’t. the potatoes were only spoken about and not seen. it was a bert dream. huh.

def not ruling anything out.

that’s a BIT much right? caring and sensitive human being? really? eh. I hadn’t gone that far with it. i’ll leave it at proficient at the landlord stuff and could probably handle an a/c issue. : )

it DOES make sense. but then, i know you.

thank you ME TOO. i’m not as jumpy now.

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