The drawback to being the only adult in the house and having COMPLETE control over the heater is that the children types are often so overheated it’s impossible to get them to put on clothes. Like, even more than usual.

It’s a snow day and the word ‘blizzard’ is recklessly being tossed around, and my 3 boys are just in their undies.

I LOVE THIS.

We are TOAST-EE.

I’d like to belatedly strike the word ‘drawback’ from that first sentence. There is no drawback. I’m so glad the heater works in this house. AMEN.

On our agenda today is vacuuming, laundry, picking our First Ever Family Song of 2013  (we’ve made a list and I thought we’d choose one around january 1st but i think non-divorce depression had overtaken me and we still haven’t done it even though it’s the end of February). I’ll announce our winner later.  The boys are leaning toward anything tobyMac, and I didn’t nominate Alan Jackson’s version of Ring of Fire or Insensitive by some fantastically wise wail-y person in the 90s because I think we’re trying for a different and more meaningful direction. Fortunately Seth-7yr did not nominate that song he heard about being ‘so sexy and he knows it’ because that would also not make the cut. 

Yesterday a friend and I made it through yet another marriage sermon. It was GOOD. It always is. It’s just…. Uuuuuugh.  She was sitting in the pew in front of me and over a few people and when it was over she turned and looked at me and I angrily mouthed the words WE DID THAT CRAP. ALL OF THAT? WE DID THAT CRAP. There was also angry finger jabbing into the air.

The lady next to me said, “well that was really good!”  She hadn’t seen my angry silent tirade at the choir type blonde in front of us.

I plastered on a wide smile and raised my eyebrows in silent faux-agreement. And it WAS faux agreement. Although it WAS a really great sermon and I learned and reviewed MUCH-ETH. But mainly that wasn’t what i was reacting to right at that moment and it was just making me mad because WE DID THAT.  ALL OF THAT? DONE. CHECK. CHECK. CHECK. And yet look at us. Neither one of us can manage to get legally divorced and free when it did NOT work for reasons I won’t get into. i KNOW. Like, CLEARLY God has some stuff to talk to me about. I KNOW.

I don’t want to move on and find some new male person to try all this great sermon stuff out on. OBVIOUSLY. Like…. EEeeeewwwww, nothankyou. I just want to be legally alone. FOR LIKE FOREVER AND EVER STARTING N OW.

I’d like for when the kids tell me about their dad’s new girlfriend… for him to be legally divorced and not MY husband in ANY way at the time. I don’t think that SHOULD be too much to ask. And yet it is.

I don’t think you date when you’re married. Even when you’re separated for a year. And maybe that’s just really easy for me to say because I also don’t WANT to date. But if you’re not divorced, you’re married, and maybe that’s too black and white but I tend to go that way. It’s a quality a lot of people certainly do not appreciate about me, and i understand that. It’s inconvenient.  I’m inconvenient. An inconvenient woman. Wasn’t that a movie? I don’t think i saw it. But I like the title. I’d like to be An Even MORE Inconvenient Woman. One who must be divorced immediately, because she’s so dang inconvenient and black and white, and REALLY there’s probably nothing wrong with dating and the kids knowing I mean it’s been a year, geeez I’m so unreasonable about everything lately.

(I’m not bothered about the dating. That started ages ago. It’s that the kids know about it. And we’re not divorced. And…? Eeeeek, but that’s so hard I’m incoherent. I’ll move on.)

Songs. I’ll get back to you.

Snow on, y’all, and take the opportunity to tell your kids to change their undies.

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