Yesterday Ethan-12yr said, “coal is an EXCELLENT fuel.” No context.  We were in the car. I thought for a moment and belted out the first part of  I’m Just a Coal Miner’s Daughter.

Ethan-12yr jumped, completely startled at this. MOM, STOP IT YOU SCARED ME.

I don’t really break into song often. It’s a special torture just for my children. It’s not frequent, but it’s ALWAYS painfully off key and terrible. I asked if he had ever heard that song. He said no. I said it was particularly awful sounding today even for me and it confirms that singing really isn’t my thing. Ethan-12yr gently said, “but mom… we have well established that already. That really… SCARED… me.”

WE HAVE WELL ESTABLISHED THAT ALREADY.

WOW. yeah okay. I LOVE the phrasing there. NOT bad for 12 years old. 

The other morning – Valentine’s morning – he was far less coherent. Seth-7yr had announced his finding of a ‘croach.’

I think that’s a contraction he has invented for ‘cockroach.’
“YEP. GOT A CROACH IN MY ROOM!”

I told him how to address the issue in a completely sanitary hands-off manner and then wash his hands anyway.

But ten minutes later Ethan-12yr is SCREAMING  and Seth-7yr is standing nearby, wearing only his underwear and a proud grin.

Apparently it takes 10 minutes to conceive and execute the idea to load a dead croach into the hollow center of a nerf bullet, aim it, and shoot it at the brother who will provide the best reaction at 7 am.

There were no words. Not from me. I was stunned. BOYS. WHERE DO THEY GET THIS?! No words from Ethan-12yr, who was just making odd wailing noises and gesturing frantically, and no words from caden-9yr who was silently thrilled with all of it except the part that it wasn’t him who had pulled this off, and nothing from Seth-7yr who was by now laughing so hard he couldn’t stand up much less speak.    

Take that, cupid.

It was a good day.

The boys made me rings and tiaras made from pipe cleaners and hershey’s kisses. ADORABLE.

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