Thursday, March 7th 2013
Happy. Shy. Completely Inappropriate and Not Caring.

When Caden-9yr was a Caden-2yr or a Caden-3yr… he broke his nose. And we took him to the doctor and he violently ‘set’ it back in place. Before that though, he was x-rayed. Even though the doctor said it was broken just by looking at him across the waiting room as soon as we walked in.

During the x-ray, the nurse explained the procedure and said it was an important picture, so sit still and smile.

He did.

Caden smiled for all he was worth, broken nose and all. I was the one crying. He was smiling. I thought I’d just DIE when his nose got snapped back into place. But he didn’t mind it nearly as much as I did. He was joking with the doctor while I held him and I was flinching and he was ignoring.

Sometimes your emotional reactions at the time just don’t seem to fit the moment. But it doesn’t matter. They’re yours. Real. 


I’m blogging because I cannot sleep. My face is hurting because it isn’t quite used to this much SMILING. I’m alone. Cleaning, taking a hot bath to try to relax, petting dogs. But I can’t stop smiling, and it’s really starting to ache. 

I need to be at the courthouse first thing in the morning. I think I’m pretty much getting divorced and it’s like, FINALLY really and truly happening, but I’m afraid really even to think that for sure because… well. There have been so many delays and setbacks… I won’t really believe it until it’s done.

But I can’t sleep anyway.

I wish I could at least get my face to relax. That would be an excellent start.



4 Comments on “Happy. Shy. Completely Inappropriate and Not Caring.”

March 8th, 2013
6:45 am

So it could really truly be over and done for good this time? I am CRAZY excited for you and praying that this is it! Can’t wait to hear your good news. And after all you’ve been through, I would not call this inappropriate. Smile all you want. I’ll smile with you. :D

March 8th, 2013
7:29 am

I’m praying for you! Update us when you can!

March 8th, 2013
9:14 am

and just like you cried for Caden and he didn’t seem to mind the whole process, I cry for you when you don’t feel you need to. I am happy for you but I am so sad because I know that nobody plans these things out when they get married.

God bless you honey, I love you and I am praying for you.

March 8th, 2013
5:20 pm

SMiling right along with you, dear heart. Smile all you want. Laugh out loud. You’ve had your time to weep, and now it is time to laugh.
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