Sunday, October 6th 2013
State of the “Union” Address

A brief update:

In Texas,

if you REALLY know what you’re doing, and you are the sort of person who actually WOULD do this… you can make sure both spouses’ names are on the house title. But then make sure that only ONE spouse’s name is on the mortgage. (Not yours.) THEN. After the divorce, live in the home, pay rent or don’t, it doesn’t matter… your credit isn’t TOUCHED. In fact, hire a credit repair service to clean up your credit while you do this. It’ll be easy since you aren’t making those pesky rent/mortgage payments like the rest of the world and you have the luxury of skipping that payment for months at a time. It isn’t like it affects… YOU. Just that ex-spouse. Also, blame that ex-spouse when you can for this arrangement. Hey, why the hell not?

Turns out not a judge in Texas can evict you. Your name IS on the title, after all. You can stay and do this as LONG AS YOU WANT.

Or… you could sell the house and buy another one. Hey, your credit is cleaned up, right? Good for you.

You don’t have a clear title… and your ex-spouse has to sign off on it… but clearly that won’t be a problem. The ex-spouse has nothing to gain, though. You’ve trashed that person’s credit. What’s the benefit? What’s that person have to lose?

Hmm.

Well. Now that is a problem.

Herein comes the sort of language that has struck me as SO familiar. I couldn’t put my finger on it. It flat out  gave me the creeps. But I finally figured out why it bothered me.

you know you want this, too.

don’t fight me on this, or it’ll be harder on everyone.

just do what I’m asking and it’ll be over and we can move on with our lives. 

 

Kind of… chilling, right?

It’s the dialogue given to a certain sort of character in lots of books and movies, in lots of various scenes and circumstances and disputes and crimes. Domineering, selfish, meant to scare someone into submitting to an arrangement or an act or something that is not actually… agreeable.

That’s where things stand.

I’ve refused to engage in that sort of talk, but have agreed to negotiate.  And I will. Gladly, even, if treated with professionalism and respect.

But I won’t be coerced. I won’t be threatened.

It doesn’t work like that anymore.

I gotta go. I get to hang out with the 2 year olds this morning. Have a great day, y’all. : )

~hm

7 Comments on “State of the “Union” Address”

1
Jan
October 6th, 2013
6:26 pm

This makes my skin crawl. It sounds like the things an abuser/rapist says to his victim. One question: if nobody pays the mortgage, how long will it be before the mortgage company forecloses and kicks out the clod?
Are there ANY options? Praying for you.
Jan recently posted..Generation to Generation

2
Sara
October 6th, 2013
7:42 pm

I’m so sorry about this Kelsey. Just reading this is making my blood pressure go up. :( I’ll be praying for you and this whole situation. Wish I could do more!

3
Melissa
October 6th, 2013
10:11 pm

just wondering: if you were to show creditors the legal papers that say he is supposed to pay, or the credit reporting agencies, could you in fact clear up at least part of the credit damage?

Also, not meaning to play hardball here, but I wonder if his clients know he is such a loser at this, so devious — would they trust him with their money? Like, who would want to be in alliance with this guy? Certainly not me. If he is this deceptive, then most likely he knows how to launder money from his clients. I’m not buying the fact that he didn’t know exactly what he was doing from day one – take you down and destroy you. I have no personal attachment to this SOB at all and have no sentimentality in regards to protecting his reputation.

4
Kelsey
October 6th, 2013
10:35 pm

Jan,
exactly. he’s not that. but it creeps me out that he talks like one!

he could stay and keep the house in and out of foreclosure – as he has – indefinitely. but he’s selling and buying and moving on. and not paying still, while he waits to close, because PLEASE. that only hurts ME. and who cares?

Sara,
that’s more than enough. thank you so much, girl.

Melissa,
good point. I do not know.

you’re REAL good at hardball, melissa. : ) I don’t know. I don’t have any interest in publicly, deliberately targeting his clients and revealing stuff. I leave all that to God. He can take care of who needs to know what, when, without my involvement. He certainly did with me. My eyes were opened in HIS time. And I realize I wouldn’t have listened to anyone else before then. You know?

5
Jan
October 7th, 2013
6:57 pm

First, we all care. Other than praying, I don’t know hwat else we can do, but we care. and we pray. Second, he may not be a rapist, but he is certainly abusive. That’s why he talks like one.
Jan recently posted..Generation to Generation

6
JT
October 8th, 2013
9:31 am

Yes, he is definitely an abuser, I wouldn’t sign any papers so he can sell the house and move on, time to grow up ol clod, why should he benefit from the money he’d get on the sale of the house when he hasn’t paid the mortgage payment?? Time to learn there are always consequences for how we act and bills we don’t pay!
Course that is just my opinion!! :-)

7
Meliss
October 10th, 2013
6:40 pm

Kels, you are a much nicer (and most likely wiser) soul than I.

I do, however, think that his clientele have a right to know what he contrived, deliberately, to do to you… I would certainly want to know what my “trusted” financial advisor was capable of doing. I guess we could pray that God reveals that one.

I love you sis. I was supposed to be over in your neck of the woods today to visit a friend in the hospital, but got strep throat and spent the day at the doctor for me instead. God bless you & praying you always have more wisdom than me. ;)

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